Teenagers and substance abuse

So I have a nephew, his high school days are almost done then off to college in the fall. He is my only sister's son. He's done well in school and extra-curriculars, all around good kid in my book (not just because he's my nephew).

About a year ago his parents found out he was smoking the pot. Initially it was the end of the world. They figured he'd be dead in six months (they tend to overreact to things in my book). Then the more they thought about it they decided it wasn't so bad (him smoking the pot). His grades were good, he wasn't out robbing banks, and it's quasi legal in Michigan now. My brother in law even decided to start smoking it some.

Fast forward to a couple days ago. They caught him trying to sneak out at night. Then they found out he had plans to try the lsd. And he was drinking in some capacity, some other school kids were involved- the details are very ambiguous at this point to me.

Parents are again in a panic. Only this time they think he needs to immediately stop all this illicit behavior, and it sounds like depression is a factor now too.

And now they want Uncle Android to step in and help set the boy straight.

I agreed to meet my nephew- without his parents- to talk to him and see how he is doing. Honestly I think he would be open with me, probably more so than with his parents, so it would put my worries at ease to hear what's going on. This meeting will be confidential- I'm not going to end up in the middle of their family crisis. If I can share some of my experiences to help him, that seems ok to me.

But I have a funny feeling about being involved at all. Any advice?

As someone who tried most drugs as a teenager because i thought it was fun, the best thing you can do is teach him the effects lsd, exspecially an overdose wich is very easy to do with that drug will have on his mind and body. if they have them in michigan take him to a methadone clinic and let him see what its like to become a full blown addict.

i cant help with depression because i dont understand it but drugs i know fairly well, if he really wants to try it theres no way to stop it in this day and age short of lock up. its way too easy to find and most states are so easy on drugs now that people get treatment instead of jail/prison time because of it.

Remind him that there's a lot of blotter paper out there, a lot of it isn't LSD, often drugs more dangerous than LSD. There's also lots of "ecstasy" going around that isn't MDMA, and so on and so forth. That's what kept me from messing with anything beyond the marijuanas.

I think LSD is something everyone should experience once in their life. I'd also bet my car that what some teenagers are paying for will not be actual LSD. It's almost non existent in America these days, there was a rather large bust a few years ago that took out some of the largest producers in America. It's far from the easiest thing to manufacture, although if you have any interest in chemistry, it's worth reading about.

Are grades, attendance still good? Understands the very real dangers of drinking and driving? I can send you pictures of my cavalier after it rolled through trees at 90+ if it would help drive that point home. The car was berkeleyed, but I walked away somehow. The turn it happened on claims 4-6 lives a year. If school is still good, and work is being handled, there are worse things. Could bring home a baby. As I was grwoing up, and I know I'm not the only one, the more i was just told no, the more i wanted to do it. Having examples, education of responsible use, or at the very least taught safety instead of just fear tactics can have a much more significant impact, and also help build trust and openness(you're treating him as an adult by talking about it openly instead of just saying NO like to a toddler). To the extreme side maybe, but "if you want to drink, you can drink at home" while not friendly with the law, knowing where the child is, letting them learn to be responsible with consumption, and probably most importantly, letting them learn what they are like drunk where they can't get into a fight or legal trouble could really be an eye opener.

Not knowing you or him or the family, just going by what I've read and see on social media, while some people do actually have depression, it seems to be a blanket these days for fairly normal feelings or actions. It seems to me the hormonal changes of teenagers are now medical conditions instead of life lessons. He might be fine, just angry, or stressed, or just being experimental. I imagine if I was his age now, seeing the constant political spew, the state of the world, and the state of the job market, I'd be pretty stressed out too, and not knowing the things I know now about spotting the facts from the bullE36 M3, I'd probably be going crazy. It could very probably be a combination of normal teenager changes, and as you said overreactive, parents who might still see him as a little boy bumbling around the house in a diaper. ( I'm guessing, I just see that a lot where parents just don't want to accept their little baby is almost an adult)

I hope I was helpful, I'm sorry if I wasn't. Good luck to you, but if he feels more at ease with you, it should be no problem for the two of you to figure some things out. Talk to him like an adult, not a child, or even a relative, just as an adult is the best advice I can give you. That should hold his attention and engage him, especially if he's used to being talked down to.

This seems like a terrible idea.

the first thing you need to figure out.. is why? Is he doing MJ because it is fun, or are there underlying issues. A lot of people with issues self medicate with either alcohol or MJ to keep themselves more or less "even" through the day or week.

If it's for fun, you are in the clear, keep him off the hard stuff and it will be alright. I know a lot of pot smokers who do very well at life... If he has some mental issues, then get him some professional help ASAP

revrico wrote: If school is still good, and work is being handled, there are worse things. Could bring home a baby.

An excellent point.

Pulling authority figure on the kid ain't gonna get ya nowhere, prolly make it worse. Some teenage rebellion to be expected but he ain't out destroying E36 M3 or robbing for kicks or drug dependent needs ftm, parents were wise to back off some. If the peer group hasn't been busted or worse yet that's prolly a good thing these days, he'll soon find new friends/ peer groups soon enough at college. Something oughta be said sooner rather than later though.

I'd kinda wanna play the cool uncle who btdt back in the day and is somebody ya can talk to but ya gotta totally understand law just don't put up w/ that E36 M3 no more. Cops don't pour your beer out or dump your bag of weed no more like back in the day. Bustin' up automotive sheetmetal ain't taken lightly these days, drugs are serious berkeleying business and that'll get yur ass arrested and into court, wtf don't ya understand about that. If weed is the worst of it, meh... they're likely gonna try it anyway. Stress the limits of typical college partying vs harder drug use, cross that line and yur dancin' w/ the devil... ain't no comin' back, y'all know what the word is there, seen enough lives wrecked over that dance.

I came to a ultimate decision 35 years ago, there was really no compromise, work or party that's how it was. Work won, money FTMFW.

Good luck w/ the nephew.

Kids do drugs because drugs are fun and developing brains suck with consequences.
Clearly you can't talk the kid into believing that drugs are bad. The adults around him were wrong about pot for most of his life, so what's next? If he has friends doing LSD and being normal students you're not going to convince him it's some dangerous devil drug. The andectotal evidence of his peers will be stronger than of his uncle.
Educate him as best you can. Try to teach him to be responsible when taking drugs. Remind him that there are real consequences for his parents if he gets caught or hurt and waiting until he's on his own makes a lot of that better. You're not going to talk kids out of doing drugs if their friends are doing drugs, but you may be able to convince them the be the responsible one in the group, and hopefully he'll move off and create a life without it.

Make him watch "fear and loathing" while completely sober. That movie while sober is completely terrible, while in an altered state it's fantastic.

That and trainspotting.

If there is depression involved, that's a whole other category to deal with. Depression and powerful recreational drugs are a bad combination.

paranoid_android74 wrote: About a year ago his parents found out he was smoking the pot. Initially it was the end of the world. They figured he'd be dead in six months

I lol'd

This is an under stimulated unchallenged brain turning inward.

This brain needs to find an outlet that is more attractive than the inlet.

Sadly I think the point of no return may have already been passed.

I think the big task for you is to determine why he's doing these things. Once you know why it's happening, you can determine the severity of the problem, and determine how it should be addressed. Normal teenage rebellion, curiosity, or peer pressure probably aren't cause for much concern. If he's depressed and using to escape an unhappy life, then that's probably more serious, and obviously would need to be addressed in a different manor.

Put me down for a vote of: pot, not really bad and not a big deal if still a functional adolescent. LSD, X, etc are such an unknown quantity that I would stay away from them. Sure, maybe that LSD was made in a great lab with only the finest chemicals and has a great effect on you brain chemicals for a finite amount of time. Or maybe it's some E36 M3 stuff that will leave you in a home drooling down your chin. There just isn't any way of KNOWING what is in illegal pharmaceuticals.

17 leaves you a long time to drool if things go wrong.

bentwrench wrote: Sadly I think the point of no return may have already been passed.

The overwhelming majority of people that mess about with recreational drugs turn out just fine. They usually give them up as they mature and move on to other parts of their lives. Some become functional addicts, and only a very small number actually ruin their lives.
The negative physical effects of drugs are hugely overplayed and the negative social/legal aspects of them are not talked about enough. If he's like most kids the worst thing that's going to happen to him is his parents will be disappointed in him. If they're already disappointed in him then he has no real downside.
I don't want anyone to think that any of this is my support of using, my dad and my brother are both addicts and I've personally see how destructive using can be. I'm just realistic about how effective the doom and gloom and inevitable destruction method is at convincing kids not to use.

i cant help much on this topic as I never have done any drugs but done my fair share of drinking. But do whatever it takes to atleast get him away from the hard drugs before he goes to college. From what I saw when i was his age was, not for all kids, but for most kids anything they did in highschool will happen exponentially more college when they are living on there own and have no one to essentially answer to.

captdownshift wrote: Make him watch "fear and loathing" while completely sober. That movie while sober is completely terrible, while in an altered state it's fantastic.

I watched that in a theater filled with hippies that were high as kites. I watched it sober. Still do.

But I'm an exception.

Going to backup the fact that the LSD and MDMA in this country have not been pure or even correct for years and years. The E36 M3 that gets sold as this can be dangerous.

This is a time in kid's lives when they experiment. LSD is not an addictive drug. It is powerful and should be respected but it's not like the kid's trying heroin.

On the pot, I've known a CEO of a >$2bn/year company that smoked it every day. Most weed smokers won't be that successful just as most non-smokers won't be, but smoking pot alone isn't reason to be freaked out.

Make sure the kid is making smart choices about where and when he's doing these drugs and who he's doing them with. Don't make it seem like touching the stuff will immediately kill him and destroy his future because that's not true. Tell him the truth, even if it doesn't jive with what his parents would like him to hear. Send him to erowid to read some of the horror stories (and positive stories) of people's drug experiences:

https://www.erowid.org/experiences/

Getting caught by the law holding this stuff will have a permanent and negative effect on his ability to achieve in life. Make sure he knows that doing drugs around dumbasses, having drugs around dumbasses, or even being around dumbasses that have drugs, can result in serious legal problems that will hound him for life, including the loss of student loans, all government assistance, etc.

Do it smart, do it safe, he'll be okay. But the standards for that are very high. Rollin' blunts while drinking and driving with a bunch of hood rats may sound fun but it ensures you will never pass "go."

An example of what happens when you do drugs (LSD, specifically) with dumbasses:

https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=76778

They go outside, make a scene, and get cops called to your house. You then get arrested. Seems like a bad deal all around.

Is the person that he is buying the LSD from a PHD in chemistry from MIT? No? Ok, then tell him don't touch it. Really, while LSD might not be bad, chances are pretty good he isn't getting it. This isn't fear mongering either, it is the truth. And, while unlikely, it is possible that an overdose could [indirectly] kill because of raised or lowered blood pressure. Now for the "fear mongering" part, I used to caddy with an older guy--probably 50--who had done it in the 90's when he went on a bender after a divorce. He got some bad LSD (or what was sold as LSD). He'd get flashbacks under certain conditions that did not look fun at all. Certainly contributed to his not being able to hold a real job.

As for MJ? Tell him to be careful with it, and be sure not to get caught. Don't carry more than (insert amount here) at a time, and don't have more than that in your possession total either. Really, there are some physical risks associated with it (it does cause brain "damage"), but the biggest risks are of the legal variety.

move 10000 miles away, change your name

I challenged my kids to be the straight sober one at a party just once and watch how foolish the others look and think it is cool in their altered state. Time and place in moderation. Been around it a lot when younger but never seemed to be interested in loosing control of myself, kept me off it. I grew up in SoCal late 60's & 70's. Reached age of majority mid 70's. You can figure out the rest. Passed that logic on and it seemed to work.