Give him a Jeep or a British car. Then he won't have money or time to play with drugs.
Give him a Jeep or a British car. Then he won't have money or time to play with drugs.
dculberson wrote: Getting caught by the law holding this stuff will have a permanent and negative effect on his ability to achieve in life. Make sure he knows that doing drugs around dumbasses, having drugs around dumbasses, or even being around dumbasses that have drugs, can result in serious legal problems that will hound him for life, including the loss of student loans, all government assistance, etc.
this.. Friend of mine, she got caught with drugs that were not even her's. She had been out and got a call from some friends to come pick them up at a party after she got off from work (She had a car, they didn't) so she picked them up and got pulled over. One of the kids had a bag of weed and stuffed it between the cushions of the backseat.. and then let her take the fall when it was found.
Thankfully she only got about 5 years of probation.. and new friends
Most areas, not all, but most, are finally coming around that pot isn't so evil, and lowering a lot of the penalties. If i read right, you said they were in MI, which is a medical state and also has lower penalties, so legally, I'd be more afraid of getting caught under age drinking. My first UAD was 90 days license suspension, 8 weeks of classes, and some fines, although that can vary by state. If you manage to get caught underage more than once, look at your states DUI laws, similar penalties and fees.
Loss of license is a real problem, to me at least, much more than the fines handed out for having under an ounce of pot(it's a summary offense here in PA, and I'm pretty sure it's a summary offense in MI, so no real record, like jay walking). Although if the ounce is in multiple bags, you now have intent to distribute, which can turn into a felony really quick.
Responsible use, and treating/talking to him as an adult will get through a lot better I think than just the scaring.
although the jeep or british car idea, that's phenomenal.
mad_machine wrote:dculberson wrote: Getting caught by the law holding this stuff will have a permanent and negative effect on his ability to achieve in life. Make sure he knows that doing drugs around dumbasses, having drugs around dumbasses, or even being around dumbasses that have drugs, can result in serious legal problems that will hound him for life, including the loss of student loans, all government assistance, etc.this.. Friend of mine, she got caught with drugs that were not even her's. She had been out and got a call from some friends to come pick them up at a party after she got off from work (She had a car, they didn't) so she picked them up and got pulled over. One of the kids had a bag of weed and stuffed it between the cushions of the backseat.. and then let her take the fall when it was found. Thankfully she only got about 5 years of probation.. and new friends
And hopefully a better lawyer.
mazdeuce wrote: That and trainspotting.
And Requiem for a Dream
mad_machine wrote:dculberson wrote: Getting caught by the law holding this stuff will have a permanent and negative effect on his ability to achieve in life. Make sure he knows that doing drugs around dumbasses, having drugs around dumbasses, or even being around dumbasses that have drugs, can result in serious legal problems that will hound him for life, including the loss of student loans, all government assistance, etc.this.. Friend of mine, she got caught with drugs that were not even her's. She had been out and got a call from some friends to come pick them up at a party after she got off from work (She had a car, they didn't) so she picked them up and got pulled over. One of the kids had a bag of weed and stuffed it between the cushions of the backseat.. and then let her take the fall when it was found. Thankfully she only got about 5 years of probation.. and new friends
This reminds me, when I was in high school there were (and still are) 2 important rules in my car.
Wear your berkeleying seatbelt.
If you're holding, YOU'RE holding, that stuff stays on your person, not in my car, that wasn't even titled in my name at the time.
My dumbass friend got caught (and jailed for a while) because he was keeping his weed in his car, in the school parking lot, not at home under the dresser or whatever.
Also, there are no "safe" underage drinking party houses, they all get busted eventually. Sometimes while you're there. On that note, the underage drinking is of greater concern than the weed. If you get caught with alcohol underage in Michigan, you're definitely getting a MIP ticket (and all that follows), a lot of cops look the other way on the weed these days if you aren't being a total idiot about it (e.g. smoking while driving). If you're smart about it you'll probably never get caught to begin with.
Well I would tend to agree.
Thank you all for chiming in, I really do appreciate it. My experience with drugs is pretty much being around friends that did them- really all of them but the heroin at the time. Drinking on the other hand, I do have experience with that.
Evidently there is some stuff called wax that people are doing now. I had to look it up to see what it was. I am far from being a teenager, and when I was I was a pretty square one.
My biggest concern is the depression thing. It does run in my family, as does addiction. And I seem to have inherited the depression gene. Untreated or poorly treated it is a very scary thing, I know this from experience. Add mood altering substances to the mix and the effects can be disastrous.
He has done very well grade wise, has held a steady job for some time, played sports, etc. Like I said he is a well adjusted kid. I have a feeling he had little say in his activities due to parents, and was expected to be very competitive. Maybe he's just burned out.
I'm not pretending to be a counselor or an expert by any means. I guess I'm hoping I can understand whatever he has going on and help him find a way to help himself.
I think he has been told about all of these things, but never talked to about them. Real life doesn't always deal in absolutes.
G_Body_Man wrote: This seems like a terrible idea.
This is a fantastic idea!
oldeskewltoy wrote: move 10000 miles away, change your name
He helped me work on my MG a few times, he knows better than that! Lol!
Beer Baron wrote: Give him a Jeep or a British car. Then he won't have money or time to play with drugs.
Drunk in public is a good one for the long term effects of alcoholism.
Mitchell wrote:mazdeuce wrote: That and trainspotting.And Requiem for a Dream
Just remind him no one ever plans to be an addict, drunk, compulsive gambler, etc. It's a personality issue. Some people can do nothing in moderation, they will always want more. I'm one of those people. I realized at a young age if I got into certain activities I'd never get out. The fact that he's moving "up the ladder" is probably a bad sign. Ask him to why he wants to move from MJ to something "harder". Be sure he understands the need for bigger/better/faster/louder can end up taking him places he'd never anticipate going. If that progression is from a Miata to a Foxbody, while that's sad, by most accounts it doesn't ruin your life. If it ends up with a needle in your arm, it probably does.
I've known several who moved on to harder drugs from MJ. I don't necessarily buy that MJ is a gateway drug, that they wanted a bigger high, more like they were stoned when someone in the group says 'here, try this'. They didn't wake up in the morning planning on smoking crack, just happened that way, dancin' w/ the devil now. Friends or family can do little for them after that, they need professional help. The only advice is don't go there in the first place.
In reply to fasted58:
What happens there is they find out they were lied to about pot being dangerous, and jump to the conclusion that everything else they were told about drugs was a lie too. I've seen it happen when I was that age, and it's hard to reason with a pissed off teenager having newfound fun. This is why honest education, not fear mongering, is really the best route.
He probably wants to try LSD because he is interested in hallucinogens. Why not suggest mushrooms instead? Much like MJ, police will look the other way if you have a reasonable amount for personal use. Natural, and no chance of getting something fake if you spend $40 or so and buy the stuff to grow them.
Whatever you do, try to get him to stay away from anything that isn't taken in its natural state.
Maybe you need to just ask yourself one question: what would uncle Jesse do?
I share the personal openness on the subject expressed in this thread, but most people in this thread are completely underestimating the potential impact of drug use in today's world, regardless of whether LE eve gets involved.
I had a man working for me who was a recreational MJ user. Good worker- I never had any indication at all that he was ever impaired at work. He had an accident that required medical attention- he stepped in a hole and cut his leg- could have happened to anyone. However the company he was working for required a post incident drug test. He failed because evidence of MJ use was still in his system (lasts about a week).
The worker's comp claim was denied, and he lost his job. It is very likely any potential future employer will call his previous one for references, and they will reveal that he was terminated for drug use on the job.
The cost of his recreational MJ use cost him his job, and likely effected his ability to be employed at all, in spite of his exceptional work record.
In today's work environment, there are most certainly some very bad and very lasting potential consequences, regardless of people's opinions on the subject.
Back in the day my sisters and I were in the cool burnout group that partied in high school. Everyone moved up the ladder of drugs.
Half the group is dead and part of the rest still function while toking away in their late 50's. I walked away in my 20's and my sister didn't make it past 45 years old.
I'm one of the anti drug people.
I'm not anti-drug, but I'm solidly in the "there's something else going on" camp. I drank underage in college. I smoked weed off and on in high school and my first year or two of college. I tried "acid" once which luckily enough ended up not being anything but a fake ripoff sold to a gullible kid. None of it ever seriously interfered with my daily life.
But it took maybe 3 years until I was bored with it all and pretty much quit because it just wasn't that fun. Weed made me happy for an hour but then I just fell asleep on the couch and woke up in the middle of the night with cottonmouth. I can do that any time without drugs. I still drink once a month or so, but not much. It's pleasant to have a couple margaritas or beers or glasses of wine, but that's where it ends.
I don't know if use is driven by a personality type, or a pathological fear of being bored, or a general discomfort with being inside your own head. But if you need that "escape" (beyond some simple curious experimentation) then there is an underlying issue that needs resolution or a constructive outlet.
Well, there is a lot of info about drugs in this thread (so I will not add - it has been addressed sufficiently I think), but I do think there is more to say about relationships.
If I were you I would not expect your nephew to open up any more to you than to his parents. (Hell, my siblings and I have done things we do not talk to each other about).
Drugs are probably not the problem. Depression might be. If depression is suspected or claimed I'd get a real professional (or two) involved right away.
What about attempting to distract him with SPEED, the automotive kind??? Get that kid addicted to track days, then help him mod a car (even if it's still his street car) to handle track speeds and stresses, then send him to a road racing school. There is no other drug on Earth as powerful as The Need. Once it gets in you're blood, you'll do everything in your power to live right and work hard and smart to earn enough income to keep you on track (see what I did there 
)
The BIGGEST issue is if this is a path that is heading to opioids. If so get the kids an all expense paid vacation to a place that can deal with this stuff. Most insurances will cover it 100%.
If there are mental health issues involved those need to be addressed ASAP as they are probably the reason for self medication. Starting with pot and boos and then moving up the ladder of self medication will occure if mental health is the problem. What self medicating people don't realize is that it does not really help with the pain of mental illness and in fact it can make things much worse. Minor highs and lows can turn in to full on manic and depression periods interrupted for a brief period of time when they are high.
I don't envy you I have been there. About the worst thing you can do is nothing but I would also seek professional advise and what ever you do do not become the source of $$$$. That will spiral out of control faster than you can blink.
There is nothing more sobering as a parent when you find your self hoping your child is either in jail or is dead as it will stop the pain and misery that you and your child are in trying to deal with this. The Monkey is far stronger than anyone that has not seen it first hand realizes and it gets stronger the more you feed it. The lie that you are in control is just that a lie. The minute you take a hit or a sip or pop a pill or what ever you are then out of control. The Monkey is now searing the train and all you are doing is lying to your self that you can control the Monkey.
In reply to dean1484:
I'd just like to repeat for effect, there is no such thing as harmless experimentation when it comes to opioids. Some might have gotten away with it, but they're extreme outliers. Though there's been a serious crackdown on them in the last few years (hence the rise in Heroin use), so I'd hazard a guess teens don't come across them quite as often/cheap now.
I think you can play the "cool uncle" on this, but I'd keep "doctor patient confidentiality" in mind through the ordeal.
some of the points mentioned so far that I agree with:
Find out the why's first and go from there.
Be honest, understanding, and open. Maybe a "hey man, your parents wanted me to talk to you about the pot you've been smoking and they tell me you want to try acid..."
Share your experiences. I think you said you never smoked pot, but I'm sure you know some people who have and I bet some of them turned out just fine. (a good example of how responsible/ moderate use can be ok will probably make you more convincing than a bunch of horror stories)
Educate. yeah your buddies can do it and they aren't going to die tomorrow but you do need to exercise a bit of caution because this is where it can lead...
Show, don't tell: There's some E36 M3 out there that's bad stuff and you don't go back (meath head mug shots, and a google search of krokadil are good examples) Not one of the people pictured ever said "man, today I'm going to try something that's gonna make me look like THIS"
Dumbasses: stay the berkeley away from them. Those are the ones that get you in trouble.
and one from my parents:
Oh, an anecdote about responsible drug use with a depressed/anxiety ridden person:
A friend of mine grew up with depression/anxiety. Not bad, but there. Her dad (and her mom, unbeknownst to her until years later) were regular users of Marijuana. They also drink, but not often and not much. My friends parents hid that they smoked, but did not lie to her about it either. She now smokes somewhat regularly as self-medication. She also has Xanax for "emergencies", prescribed by her doctor who knows that she smokes--they see each other probably 6 times a year.
She has not done anything heavier than marijuana that was not prescribed to her. This could be because of a few things: She is and was very well educated on the REAL dangers of all drugs, including legal, career, and health. She probably does not have an addictive personality. And, most importantly, she was never lied to about it. Her dad told her at around 17 when she caught him stealing her pot (hahaha!) that pot is "fine", but don't go heavier than that. Since then all she's done is mushrooms, which are pretty safe.
I have tried pot, I didn't mean to be ambiguous on that. I was in Amsterdam then and it was legal. I honestly didn't like it, so I stuck with beer.
But I don't think it's the end of the world.
Confidentiality will indeed be in effect- I'm not about to get in the middle of something like that. And as for loaning money, I learned that lesson from loaning money to his dad (my brother in law). He has had addiction issues too, but that's a different story.
Again I thank you all for the responses, I appreciate each and every one of them!
Hungary Bill wrote: I think you can play the "cool uncle" on this, but I'd keep "doctor patient confidentiality" in mind through the ordeal. some of the points mentioned so far that I agree with: - Find out the why's first and go from there. - Be honest, understanding, and open. Maybe a "hey man, your parents wanted me to talk to you about the pot you've been smoking and they tell me you want to try acid..." - Share your experiences. I think you said you never smoked pot, but I'm sure you know some people who have and I bet some of them turned out just fine. (a good example of how responsible/ moderate use can be ok will probably make you more convincing than a bunch of horror stories) - Educate. yeah your buddies can do it and they aren't going to die tomorrow but you do need to exercise a bit of caution because this is where it can lead... - Show, don't tell: There's some E36 M3 out there that's bad stuff and you don't go back (meath head mug shots, and a google search of krokadil are good examples) Not one of the people pictured ever said "man, today I'm going to try something that's gonna make me look like THIS" - Dumbasses: stay the berkeley away from them. Those are the ones that get you in trouble. and one from my parents: - if you're screwed up at a party and need someone to pick you up, call me and I'll get you without saying a word. If I find you in a drug/alcohol related accident there'll be hell to pay.
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