Thanks everyone, for just being you.

Some may have noticed my posting picked up alot early last fall. Well, after 2 1/2 years she left me. I'd never had a good long relationship before, and was devastating when she said goodbye. (I'm 35, and have had very few girlfriends) Was told that I was a really nice guy, but just not "the one". I didn't really say much about it here, just a few hints now and then. Posting up on various things, laughing at everyone's comments, and post whoring away really helped me get through the days. There's still an long, long road ahead for me, but GRM has been a great support. Thanks everyone, for just being yourselves.

More time for project cars?

Good women can be found, just be creative. I placed an ad in an alternative local paper. "Big Ol' bear looking for a honey". Got 47 applicants for the position. Married one of them. 18 years and counting. Look ahead, not back.

Hey man, I think many of us have been there and we're glad to have helped you through. Like Brown Stig said, at least you'll have time for yourself ;)

I also didn't date much in high school or even afterwards, too much time behind the computer and not enough time meeting single womens :)

My last relationship ended after 5 1/2 years, after she pressured me into asking to marry her, she left about 6 months later, after falling for one of her classmates at school. Of course at the time, I was working my butt off to support her schooling in return for her supporting my schooling.

Needless to say I was devastated, but after about a year I met the woman I'm with now and while we have our ups and downs, we just celebrated 6 years together and looking forward to many more. The nice thing is that she's ten times the woman the ex-fiance ever was.

I guess what I'm saying is that no matter what the sun will shine again and pain is only temporary.

After my bother lost his wife to cancer, and he became the primary caretaker of his two boys with a job, he didn't think he'd have much luck finding anyone.

Since then, he's been on several dates and for Christmas dinner he brought a very nice young divorced lady with a son of her own to meet the family.

When you least expect it, things will turn around for the better.

Cheers, Steven Cagle

Another vote for things turning around when you least expect them (and in the least likely ways, sometimes).

Take some time to just be you and you might be surprised at what happens.

"Never give up...NEVER SURRENDER!"

No, really! Any day above ground is a good one.

Why do I like cars more than women? You can fix a broken car.

I know I'm not the only one to ever have this happen, just feel all alone when it does. Thanks again for the support.

Sucks when it happens, makes it that much sweeter when someone better comes along.

trust me, I have had very few G/fs over the years too.. and every one of them ripped a piece of my heart out when they left.

Been a while since I had one too... not sure I miss it

Appleseed wrote: Why do I like cars more than women? You can fix a broken car.

Cars don't leave you and take half your stuff if you happen to drive another one.

You can have more than one car.

If you decide you don't like your car, you can trade it in on a newer model.

Should I go on? hahaha

Gearheadotaku wrote: I know I'm not the only one to ever have this happen, just feel all alone when it does. Thanks again for the support.

Nah you're not the only one, my first wife left after almost 9 years of relationship, (4 married)not going into details but I wasn't happy about how it happened. And yeah I was doing the same thing, I'll support you while you're in school, yada yada, doesn't ever seem to work. I've told my current wife that while yes she's 1000% better than my first wife, that if we ever decided enough is enough I'm staying single. I just want visitation rights for the dogs.

Keep plugging away, you never know where you might meet someone, I wasn't even looking for someone when I met my 2nd wife, it just happened. oh well, nothing there I wouldn't do over again.

It's always good to hear when the internet has a positive effect on somebody.

Get out as much as possible, and remember to be excellent with yourself, do stuff you enjoy, and share it with other humans face to face and you'd be surprised who can show up in your life.

Quickest way to get over somebody is to get under somebody. Get off the 1nt4rw3bz and go knock the panties off somethin'.

You're welcome,

teh p00.

Quit being a nice guy. Polite guy is fine, but nice guy gets you girls who are friends, not girlfriends.

MrJoshua wrote: Quit being a nice guy. Polite guy is fine, but nice guy gets you girls who are friends, not girlfriends.

I hear that...but when it's in your nature...how the heck do you not be the nice guy?

I've been trying to figure this out for a couple years now...

Clem

ClemSparks wrote:

MrJoshua wrote: Quit being a nice guy. Polite guy is fine, but nice guy gets you girls who are friends, not girlfriends.

I hear that...but when it's in your nature...how the heck do you not be the nice guy? I've been trying to figure this out for a couple years now... Clem

Sounds like you're going to have to watch "Youth in Revolt" when it comes out.

ClemSparks wrote:

MrJoshua wrote: Quit being a nice guy. Polite guy is fine, but nice guy gets you girls who are friends, not girlfriends.

I hear that...but when it's in your nature...how the heck do you not be the nice guy? I've been trying to figure this out for a couple years now... Clem

It means figure out what you want and pursue it with abandon. Then listen to what poopy said.

Lol...this is the part where I don't take relationship advice from internet forums ;)

Clem

ClemSparks wrote: Lol...this is the part where I don't take relationship advice from internet forums ;) Clem

well its on the net, so its just gotta be true, I mean, they dont just give a website to anybody right? You gotta know what youre talking about to put up a netpage....then again, theres always papaws advice:

Never trust something that bleeds for 7 days and does not die

poo-movers advice sounded a lot more fun though, so im kinda 50/50 on the whole debate

Basically have an opinion and a passion. Have some things you do because you want to and nothing is going to stop you. If she wants you to do something you really don't want to do don't do it. You don't have to be a domineering shiny happy person, but you do have to be someone who is his own person. If you don't like something she does, tell her. Be a little jealous, but demand your freedom. Spend quality time with her, but have things you do that she cant change and isn't invited to. She can be the most important thing in your life, but only if she is really cool and has earned it. If you are madly in love with her because she is cool, she will love you back. If you are madly in love with her just because you want to be madly in love with someone it won't last. She isn't perfect and she knows it. If you act like she is, she will know she isn't special and you are just satisfying your overwhelming desire for a relationship. A nice guy will fall in love with any girl who will let them. How does that make a girl feel special? I'm a semi-reformed nice guy and I am much happier.

In reply to MrJoshua:

Cool...thanks for that.

I'm in reform, myself. Glad to hear it's something I can handle ;)

Clem

If you want, there a lot of organizations you can get involved in. It's been a very long time since I was single, but Parents without Partners was a "Target Rich Environment" for me. Also, Mensa. I think it would be fun to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. Good hearted folks there. Frankly, I would not want to be single now. Good luck to you, stay positive.

ClemSparks wrote: I hear that...but when it's in your nature...how the heck do you not be the nice guy?

You have to take a step back, and look at the behaviors you do that you believe are "nice", and those that you feel cross the line into "not nice".

Usually the guys I'm around that are "nice guys" that don't get women have this idea that any show of interest in a girl is "not nice"; that it's betraying the girl's trust in them.

I think the Tao of Steve put it best: Be There, Be Awesome, Be Gone. You have to be around a girl, you have to show her how kickass of a guy you are, and then you have to let her persue you.