So I sold some synthesizers to a guy on Kijiji. He seemed fairly normal, if a bit loud and excitable, on the phone. No problem.
His emails were a little, er, different-y, shall we say, but not necessarily outside the standard range of Kijiji yobbos. It is, however, worth mentioning that he apparently has his mailer set to write strictly in 108-point font, his grasp of spelling, grammar, and general writing is far worse than mine in a language which he speaks natively & I only learned in my 20s and he got his own address wrong when sending me the shipping instructions. Well, we all make mistakes sometimes...
Peering through the Kijijic veneer of incomprehensible unfathomability, I figured out this guy operates a business disassembling & repairing vintage synths such as mine. Curious as to what he had in inventory, to see if maybe we could arrange a trade, I did a little more sleuthing around and found his website.
Here it is: http://brainaura.de.to/
...
Oh
dear
berkeleying
goat-jesus.
Just look at it. It's like dropping acid & performing brain surgery on yourself while two monks shout a druidic chant in your ears on the surface of the sun. It's almost moving in its utter bat-E36 M3 lunacy. Especially when you consider that this is the website for his business. I don't know what to say. Honestly, this is either the worst or the best website on the entire internet in all its history. I can't even tell anymore. I think... that... I may not be worthy of making that judgment. Woah.
...then later he emails me again, in his 108-point-fonted way, and asks for me to send him a signed receipt as a PDF. Just to keep everything official. Y'know, for his business.
I have done special research for you, using my skills
(yes I'm really Master of Science!).
