Kazoospec Jr. recently had four wisdom teeth pulled. He's doing well, but part of the treatment plan is icepacks on his face. He and Mrs. Kazoo are both engineers at heart (if not yet by profession), so they've devised a "hands free" icepack holder that basically uses a scarf to tie the icepacks onto his head. I scratched my head for a bit trying to remember what it reminded me of, then it hit me:
Jacob Marley in the George C. Scott version of "A Christmas Carol". I've become quite fond of saying "These chains have I forged in LIFE!" every time I walk past him. No one else thinks its NEARLY as funny as I do. Just need a little dad joke appreciation since my family doesn't appear to be good for it. 
Submit your entries below.
We all know that 6 was scared of 7 because 7 ate 9, but do we know why?
Because you need three squared meals a day.
What's the last thing that went through the bugs mind as it hit the windshield? Crap!
Peabody
UltimaDork
7/3/20 9:32 p.m.
In reply to Brett_Murphy (Forum Patrón) :
I picked a fight with 1, but when I saw 3,5,7 and 9 gang up I knew the odds were against me
Got a shirt for father's day that says "dad jokes are how eye roll"
Few weeks ago I made a bad pun in front of the family and my wife said 'dad jokes wa wa waaa'. A few minutes later she made a bad pun and my 5 year old son went in for the kill:
"Mom jokes, wa wa waaa"
What's brown and sticky?
A stick
Whats musical and would kill you if it fell from a tree?
A piano
My wife cringes but the kids still laugh for now
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Ten.
Ten tickles.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
a brick.
What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you cut up an oboe.
Oh man I come up with bunch all time to make my kids cringe.
Why did the frog cross the road?
He was toad to.
Road work Ahead, I sure hope the road does work.
Did you hear the FDA banned round hay bales? They heard that the livestock wasn't getting a square meal.
I dumped a girl once because she didn't get a dad joke. Ok, not because of that joke, but it was a long line of things that really showed how intellectually challenged she was. Not that I'm a genius, but I just couldn't deal with her cluelessness.
Driving through Hamilton, ON she saw the sign that said "population 525,000." She looked around and commented that the town didn't look that big. I said, "yeah, but that's metric population."
She didn't get it. About halfway through the ensuing conversation she started trying to divide 525k by 1.6 to get the English number, I realized I needed to trade her in.
What do you call a lady with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen.
A proton walks into a bar and says gimme a drink. Bartender says are you sure? I'm positive.
A neutron walks into the same bar and says gimme a drink. Bartender says for you, no charge
In reply to wheelsmithy (Joe-with-an-L) (Forum Supporter) :
What do you call her in Japan?
Irene.
In reply to mikeatrpi :
Two atoms are walking down the street. First atom says "I lost an electron!" And the second atom says "Are you sure?"
Curtis73 (Forum Supporter) said:
I dumped a girl once because she didn't get a dad joke. Ok, not because of that joke, but it was a long line of things that really showed how intellectually challenged she was. Not that I'm a genius, but I just couldn't deal with her cluelessness.
Driving through Hamilton, ON she saw the sign that said "population 525,000." She looked around and commented that the town didn't look that big. I said, "yeah, but that's metric population."
She didn't get it. About halfway through the ensuing conversation she started trying to divide 525k by 1.6 to get the English number, I realized I needed to trade her in.
I'm familiar with this experience. Totally get it.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it's apparent.
Where do honeybees go to the bathroom? The BP station.
I know, I'm not a dad, but I think somebody's dad told me that one 
Two snares and a cymbal fall down into a canyon.
Ba dum tishhhhh.
jgrewe
Reader
7/5/20 1:30 a.m.
The problem with gay marriage is if there are any children involved they may get twice as many dad jokes or risk getting caught in an endless loop of 'Go ask your mother'
How do you make holy water?
Take regular water and shake the hell out of it.
wheelsmithy (Joe-with-an-L) (Forum Supporter) said:
How do you make holy water?
Take regular water and shake the hell out of it.
Do not try to make holy babies in this manner.
Robbie (Forum Supporter) said:
wheelsmithy (Joe-with-an-L) (Forum Supporter) said:
How do you make holy water?
Take regular water and shake the hell out of it.
Do not try to make holy babies in this manner.
Is that how we get Holy Cow?
