The Importance of Social Interaction

As I've said before, Annie and I are retired. We don't work anymore, and we think that's fantastic. But people have said that you lose touch with social interaction when you retire, and the rest of your life is downhill. Well, they're wrong, at least in our case. We now have a great, great social environment. All of this is at local pubs, mind you. We have dozens more friends today than we had five years ago when I retired. So that's the preamble to this discourse:

Today, we went on an informal sports car tour through a beautiful autumn SoNE, which I led. Our new friend Howie, who has a TR6 and a Spit, and friend Alin (owner of a great pub that we frequent) accompanied Annie and me on a road tour of Southern New England at peak foliage time. I was driving my '96 Miata. Howie had his '74 TR6. Anyway, we had a fabulous drive through country roads in northeast CT, which I had planned out. We went to an orchard in Woodstock, CT, and then to a great vineyard (Sharpe Hill in Pomfret, CT), where we shared a bottle of excellent estate wine. We also had great conversation, which is important at any age. Then it was back to RI and dinner at Bill's Place in West Warwick where we met up with many mutual friends, and more conversation and comeraderie.

So, my point? Annie and I are in our senior years, yet we still act like we're quite a bit younger. A lot of the folks we interact with are like us, and the folks we did the great tour with today were definitely in that category. So I think the negative stigma of old age and retirement is off base, at least from our perspective. More importantly, it's about how you think about where you are in your life at a particular age.

So, is there anybody else in our age category here that has similar thoughts? Or, opposite thoughts? Or, for younger folks, what do you think about our "old timer" situation and your thoughts about your own latter years in life and how you'll cope?

I'm 74 and I just returned from racing at th SCCA Runoffs at VIR. I think age is just a number and don't let it define me. I have friends both younger and older than me, based on mutual interests. I'm still working so I can afford my racing habit and don't mind it at all. I'm a salesman on the road every day servicing established and new customers. I enjoy the challenge as well. I can't picture ever not being active and involved in my hobby, church and music.

Personally I'm kind of looking forward to less social interaction. 
 

I can't see how it would be possible for my social interactions to get any rarer than they are now.

My father retired from a factory job after 40 years of the daily grind. Since he retired he has been the happiest he’s ever been. Unfortunately he only got about 10 good healthy years of retirement until two life altering medical conditions entrapped him and do to this day. In his retirement he had more social interaction than he ever did before, and it was because he wanted it that way. Fishing, cars, motorcycles, road trips etc were all apart of his happiest years. And for what it’s worth he doesn’t Facebook and never has or any other social media. He actually hates computers, even gets frazzled trying to figure out his cable tv remotes.

For myself, I have several years until I plan to retire. I deal with people every day as thats what my job entails. The thing I look forward to in retirement is I can have more control of the kind interaction I have with others.  I will have the choice to ignore the negative nancy’s and stay with positive happy (not shiny lol) people hopefully. Most of all, having children, I look forward to helping them and enjoy watching them grow as adults. I’m sure I will have social interaction with others, but my family is and always will be what I’m about, even when in retirement. If I have anything to say about it my kids will be as much apart of my life in my golden years as they currently are now. Who knows, maybe I may even play bingo some day? But at the same time I’ll also be into cars and being active etc as long as I am physically able to do so.

I probably should say I retired from a career in product management, technical sales and marketing, which I didn't point out in my OP. That makes me more of a social person anyway. Also, Annie had a career in Service Management. So she as well has a strong social background. So we both had full careers of social interaction. That might have an influence. But maybe not. However, I think the generational thing is to think once you retire, you're done with normal life in society, and destined to playing Bingo at the senior center.  I think if you're inclined to keep your lives active and relevant after retirement, you need to keep your social lives active, regardless of what you did in your careers.

I feel like I'm seeing this happen to some of my friends as they transition into their 30's. Everyone is doubling down on careers and obligations and seems to have less and less social interaction. Meanwhile I've moved in with roommates who work on creative projects together, we have guests over for games and TV every week, I'm as involved in church as I can be without over extending, and I'm spending more time with family than ever before. My immediate family is more geographically scattered than they have ever been in my life. I've committed to see them anyway and as a result I've discovered a love for solo traveling and camping, something I've never done before about 5 years ago. I hope those trends continue into retirement if I make it that far.

I can't comment on retirement, as I have too many young kids to even dream of something like that, right now I'm dreaming of a post-diaper existence, which should be less than a year out (after a decade of dealing with them!).

But I will say that I'm not too far north-east of where you were.  If you're wandering that direction, let me know, I'd love to meet up :). I'm over in Stafford, CT.

If I survive my wife I’m pretty confident I’ll turn into a hobbit. Without a doubt if she survives me she’ll do her best to never leave the house. 

We crowd source our sanity, that’s how the human mind works. Micro-redirects from the people we interact with keep us on corse. Let us know that our bullE36 M3 is just that. 

In reply to Gary :

Actually in my 70's I'm more socially interactive than I was during my 30's -40's-50's -60's. 
my wife's  mother who's in her later 80's  has people at her house every day. 
 

Some people are just socially active. Some are more private.  
While I agree with your premise that social interaction is a good thing, I wonder to what degree is required?  

frenchyd said:

While I agree with your premise that social interaction is a good thing, I wonder to what degree is required?  

Apparently, it's quite important to your overall mental health via your happiness level.   Even interacting with strangers on the subway, at the bank, etc.

Take a listen to this: https://www.happinesslab.fm/

Kind of in an awkward place as a rideshare driver.  I'll talk away to pax but I've no desire to initiate conversation.  None.

I think very differently from 95% of the locals going by Presidential election returns.

However.  I live in a very transient town that has gotten hyper expensive for regular schmoes and joes.

Whilst I have an affordable place sort of I'm making nowhere near what I did 20 years ago and the rent is almost three times what it was then.

A lot of my friends were older and are now dead or so low on money they've moved way out of state to finish their golden years with family.

The ones my age are dropping like flies too due to alcohol dependency and that's just a culture I've avoided for a couple of years now.

So my social isolation is real.  I've only been to a bar once in 12 months.  And this city floats on a sea of alcohol.

Occasionally much younger pax will ask me how do you meet people.  It's such a messed up town.

Basically thinking about heading back to Ireland to help around the old homestead but I want to get things wrapped up financially this side of the pond and gain some tech skills to take back with me and then just settle down to bachelorhood and infirmity.

Wish I'd got married but I guess I shouldn't have moved to the headquarters of the C&A party.  Ain't no-one got the time for that 'round these parts.

It's gonna be a lonely final few decades pour moi.  If back home at least I'll have childhood friends still next door.  Plus Irish Tarmac Rally.  

In reply to Gary :

As a younger guy, I can attest to the amazing-ness that is meeting people at the local watering hole. People who frequent these establishments, typically want to be social and chat with other people, much like myself. 

In reply to z31maniac :

As one who just didn't visit watering holes, I missed out on all of that.  Not a prude, just cheapskate. 

frenchyd said:

In reply to z31maniac :

As one who just didn't visit watering holes, I missed out on all of that.  Not a prude, just cheapskate. 

Nothing wrong with that. We all have different interests. And that makes life great!

I could likely have another retirement account if I didn't enjoy being out with the people. 

Gary said:

 But people have said that you lose touch with social interaction when you retire, and the rest of your life is downhill.

 

 So I think the negative stigma of old age and retirement is off base, at least from our perspective.

 I've never heard either of those.

I do value my social interactions with strangers, they remind me why I'm so much happier never leaving my property. This new business thing is going to really berkeley with me until I get used to dealing with "humans" again.

Suprf1y said:

Gary said:

 But people have said that you lose touch with social interaction when you retire, and the rest of your life is downhill.

 

 So I think the negative stigma of old age and retirement is off base, at least from our perspective.

 I've never heard either of those.

My parents social interaction has gone up since they retired. They have less interactions with people, as they're not in the office/school all day every day, but they have more interactions with their friends - every Friday more or less includes a trip to the watering hole, they see their siblings a lot, they go to more parties with their friends/siblings... They have more of a social life than I do, and more than I'd want to - but I'm an introvert and I get my fill of people at work. 

Well I'm at the Oliver Tree concert. First thing/place I've been in at least a year.