Things NOT to say when being pulled over

One day leaving the airport in a rental Focus, I was supposed to be getting on the highway/freeway. I took a wrong turn and ended up out on some country road. Still thinking 'highway' I'm going a little fast. Well, I must have blasted through some intersection to quick for Smokey to get his radar out. I realized I was heading the wrong way and turned around (and I'm pissed at this point too). Now Smokey is coming my way, turns on the lights and puts his nose on my side of the road to make me stop.

He pull alongside and says something along the lines of "Can you afford a ticket today?" Me being pissed and not thinking straight, tries to be honest and says "Yes". Oops.

Still didn't give me a ticket.....

The worst I've ever done.... wasn't that bad. Ran out of fuel one night after underestimating how far I could make it on one tank..... sitting on the side of the road cop pulls up-

"you alright?"

"yep, ran out of gas, premiums expensive, and it isn't even close to stock"

I'm glad MN is lax on the laws in regards to towing a car for illegal mods, as in he didn't check. Something tells me that my cats sitting on my dining room table would not have made him happy.

cwh wrote: "My gun is bigger than yours." Around here, you will start to quickly leak from new apertures with a comment like that.

Yeah, I was thinking "Hess would have needed a new dog" if he was pulled over in my numbnutz breeding ground. They shoot everything they don't taze 'round these parts.

'Aren't you from "The Villiage People"?'

"That's all you can come up with?" After I was given four tickets by a local officer, who then managed two write 12 more before getting another call. I had been taking apart a wrecker to repaint it when I had to run out and pick up a friend. It was going to be a short trip so I took a chance even though i had removed every light, mirror, and duct taped on plate to the back. Luckily I was good friends with the judge's secratary and the judge lectured the officer on writing exessive tickets and threw them all out.

Unfortunatly I have more than a few stories about LE contact.

First the funny ones.

1. 3am a few halloween's back a rookie cop followed my wife through town we were living in, all the way to the house, turn's his lights on after she's pulled into the driveway and turned the truck off. ASKS FOR HER LICENSE, about this time one of the dogs run out the back doggie door, wiggles under the fence and runs out between her and the cop and starts with his most vicious "I'm 13lbs of nasty, you don't want none" bark at the cop, to which his fist question is "do you live here?" WTF? She's still in her work uniform. Needless to say no ticket, tag light was out.

2. My wife had bought an 84 300z, she was working at a pet store at the time, and someone brought in 2 ferrets to adopt out, knowing I had wanted a ferret for a long time, she comes home from work, and we went out to dinner. On the way home she tells me she has a surprise for me, and we have to go by her work, ok long story short we're on our way home with two ferrets in a cardboard box. If you don't know, the handle holes in a box are big enough for a ferret to wiggle out of, one was blind, they were gettting out of the box, and she was hurrying to get home so we could get them into a cage we had at home. State trooper pulls us over and proceeds to come up to the passenger side of the car, that I'm sitting on with said box in my lap. He asks for license and registration, my wife gets her license out of her purse, and I'm sitting there with a box in my lap trying to figure out how to get into the glove box without these little buggers getting out of the box, after a min of watching me struggle with this, he ask's "so what's in the box" to which my response is "2 ferrets we just adopted", to look on his face was "BS" as I continued to try to get at the latch on the glove box, at which point one of them pokes his head out of the handle hole of the box. The look on his face was "priceless", he then handed my wife's license back and told us to slow down.

Not so funny

1. I was living in FL around Tampa and my parents were in NW arkansas, mom had a medical emergency and my dad told me I needed to get home. At the time I was driving a modded FD rx-7, so I took off for AR. Got almost all the way there in record time, if you've never driven a FD, they have this sweet spot at about 90mph that the car really seems to like)and on a stretch of new highway I get pulled over for, you guessed it. 90 in a 70mph zone. The cops first words were "I thought you were trying to run from me" , folks I can tell you from experience, laughing at the cop that says that, is not the thing to do. 3 or 4 tickets later I was on my way, an hour or so behind while they went through my car, and read me the riot act. BTW in AR, at least in that county, even a speeding ticket requires a court visit, which cost me another week out of work.

2. 3am on my way home from a party, had not been drinking, just hanging out with a few friends at said party. No one on I-75, I decide to "open her up a bit" I was driving my old Z28 at the time, needless to say, I was moving, you do know that a mid 80's camaro's speedo only goes to 85 right? Anyway I blow by a 5.0 state trooper sitting down in the median with no lights on, I know I'm cruising, I know I'm getting a ticket, so I do the responsible thing and jam on the brakes and pull over. (I was a correctional officer at the time) the trooper lazily pulls out and comes up behind me and turns his lights on, gets out and walks up to my drivers window, and asks me why did I stop? My response was "I'm hoping to keep my license out of this" the rest of the conversation went something like this, "well, do you know how fast you were going?" "honestly I have no clue" "why not?" "well sir, the speedo only goes to 85" shaking his head "I got you once at 140 and a second time at 141" at that point he looked around the car, and saw my state jacket in the back seat with my ID clipped to it "where do you work at?" "Zephyrhills CI" "SLOW IT DOWN" "yes sir"

3. Driving my 98 neon R/T on the way home from my ex girlfriends house. Down the street from her house there's an intersection that's a 2 way stop, the north/south traffic doesn't have to stop, but to the south of it there is a blind curve, so as I'm pulling away from the stop sign turning northbound I see this car come FLYING around the curve (it's late at night all I can see is headlights), I see the other headlights dive down like the driver is jamming on the brakes, but you can tell there's no way he's gonna make it,(in other words kill the rear end of my "baby" at the time) so I punch it, redline first gear, jam second, barked the tires when I sidesteped the clutch and stay on it, all the way to 60, now this is a 30mph zone, the whole time my eye's are pretty much glued to the rearview watching this car get closer and closer, he stays RIGHT on my bumper for about 1/2 a mile and then the pretty lights come on. My exact response was WTF? Cop walks up to my car, asks for the standard lic/reg/proof of ins, and then proceeds to ask "why were you going so fast and squalling the tires when you shifted gears?" to which my response was a very indignant "to get the heck out of YOUR way, as you obviously were not going to get slowed down in time to miss me", I got sent on my way and told I needed to slow it down.

There's a whole lot more but, I've got a road trip to get up for in 3 hours and I need a little sleep.

I was pulled over for speeding once and I was asked by the officer,

Do you know how fast you were going

I answered,

I dont know, my speedometer only goes up to 85!

I was let go only because the officer said he had an important call to respond to. That was one lucky night for me.

I've always wanted to get pulled over, and the policeman say: "I've been waiting for you allll day." To which I would reply: "Got here as fast as I could, sir!". (As per a joke I once heard.)

I remember a line from some stand up comic, talking about the benefits of being famous and having extra money. One of the benefits was not having to worry about tickets.

He then joked about driving around on cold rainy nights with the intention of getting cops out of their cars. He'd see one then intentionally run a stop sign. When pulled over the cop would ask "Do you know why I pulled you over?" At which point he would reply "Yes I do, Do you know why I ran the stop sign?"

Many years ago, I bought a beater '84 Subaru GL 4x4 as my work car. Driving in an unfamiliar rural area, I dropped down into a valley with a great open view and negotiated a S turn sequence using both lanes to climb the steep hill on the other side. I was probably doing 70 or so in a 55. A PA state revenue collector is coming the other way as I crest the hill, apparently having observed this bit of Walter Mitty driving. He knows I was speeding, but can't prove it since PA cannot use radar while in motion. So after stopping me, he states he saw my brilliant job of maintaining momentum and asks me why I crossed the double yellow line.

Not even thinking (I have that problem), I blurt out "Sir, have you ever driven a 1980s Subaru? The last thing you want to do with one of these is slow down before a hill."

This really threw him off guard. He poked around at trying to get me to admit a speed, failed, and then wrote me a fix-it ticket for a legitimately broken front corner light.

I always pull over way to the side of the road, shut off the car and put the keys on the dash and am polite and honest with the officer. I have been pulled over more than 25 times and probably have gotten a dozen tickets. Only four moving violations though. Ive only been screwed once or twice and been let off more than I deserve.

Thus far I have had pretty good luck asking the officer what he/she is going to write me up for. It usually opens it up for conversation instead of the suprise when they come back after you give them the license and registration.

short one: get pulled over , roll window down, deputy seems VERY nervous, look over to the passenger side and see his partner with his weapon drawn and pointing at me through the window. I look at the nervous one and say "whats going on here?: i might have been speeding a bit, but its not like i robbed a bank or something..." gun goes in my ear...

a bank had been robbed, car was the same description as mine (same as below).

On the up side, after they figured out i wasnt the bad guy, that i was also on the job (different department) all was good and they all got me pretty toasted a few days later at the local bar... im still friends with those guys...

longer story: I95 where it hooks into the jersey turnpike is training area for rookie nj troopers, and they used too (probably still do) pull over every car that they think looks even remotely suspicious. In my case for a few years, I had a black cutlass, dart tinted windows all around and FL plates. It was a rookie troopers profiler dream..

One trip I had left directly from work, and had firearms re-qualification that day , and though I did leave my weapons locked up at work, I had a bunch of leftover loose 38 cal rounds in my pocket, and absent mindedly dumped them into the door pull area of the armrest in the car after i felt them in my pocket when i sat down.

I drive all night and ofcourse get pulled over right off the bridge entering the turnpike. no biggie, I was used to the routine by then. I had the CB on , and was listening to the truckers. heard them narrating my getting pulled over, heard them talking about when i was asked to get out of the car.

when i get out, the rookie trooper sees the rounds in the door pull , freaks out a bit and pulls his weapon on me (CB in the background " Smokey looks like he gonna shoot that guy" and very nervously tells me to put my hands on the roof of the vehicle, which of course i comply.

But im tired and a little annoyed and really dont have allot of patience for this rookie.. he radios for backup picks up the rounds with his free hand and asks "what are these for" and ofcourse i say the completely wrong thing... "um...shooting stuff?" i reply.. ugh... 2 minutes later theres half a dozen troopers and im on my belly on the side of the road in the snow with cuffs on ... and the truckers are narrating whats going on the whole time, which was pretty funny.

Then they find the crossman 357 pellet gun under the seat of my car.

I had completely forgotten about, and the rookie thinks its real, a gun goes back in my ear at this point...

truckers: "he's really berkeleyed now" over the cb...

finally someone finds my badge and id case, while there searching the rest of my car... which was sitting on the passenger seat the whole time in plain view...

after a "pep talk" from the sgt. on duty (they were starting to get heat for profiling at this point, news and such) im on my way again.

at least the truckers had a good time with it...

2 stories:

1: 1972... I've been home from VN for about 6mo and haven't had a haircut since being processed out... driving a '61 or '62 or thereabouts Ford 9 passenger wagon, a true beater... doing 60 in 55 on a 4 lane and am catching up with a NCST in an unmarked car.... no doubt it's a trooper... can plainly see his uniy as I approach... keep going and nat he pulls me... his hair is at moist a 1/16" long... while talking to me and issuing the ticket he says "this ticket has nothing to do with the length of you hair or beard" or words to that effect... Shakespeare's 'me thinks thou dost protestith too much' comes to mind...

2: coming home from Norfolk one weekend in a '50 Plymouth flathead 6 w/ maybe 100hp when new (200k) smoked like a Cheech and Chong movie. Somewhere west of Hickory (doing ~55 in a 65) (all it would do) suddenly lights appear behind me... many sets of lights... WOW I'm 'bout freaked... I pull over roll down the window stick my hands out and wait... 4 - 5 cops approach on both sides with guns drawn... (the car is starting to smell with the out put from my rear end) I'm told to step out and assume the position.. they get my military Id ask for leave papers, I tell them it's just a weekend liberty therefore no paper work... my AWOL bag is in the back seat along with the current PLAYBOY mag. one of the officers asks about the mag, I respond by saying what it is and offering to let him see it... turns out there was a bank robbery in Hickory with hostages and the get away car was somewhat similar to mine... when they finally apologize and let me go it's several min before I can even get the key back in the ignition...

My BIL was a cop in New Orleans after Katrina. Pulled a girl for running a stop sign. She said that since the traffic lights didn't work, she figured the stop signs didn't either.

Going faster than I should I cross the line into MA to be welcomed by a state trooper. I had a radar detector, and it signaled my immediate doom. Pulled right over, before he had even really got moving. Asked me why I was in such a hurry, and explained truthfully that I was on my way to meet my fiance at a wedding in CT.(I think the wedding present in the back seat, and me in a tie on a saturday morning backed me up). He replied that it was probably best that I shouldn't upset her by being late and that he would be quick. He was quick to come back with a ticket made out for a speed far lower than he clocked me at. He suggested that I try not to make up any time in the state of Ma, and sent me on my way. I was also pulled over by the governors driver here in VT. We just kept passing each other going faster and faster, until I got to a straightway, not willing to let a lincoln best me. I had no idea who it was, until he came up behind me with his hidden lights blazing. Thank god the Governor wasn't in the car with him. He told me "It's quite the hot rod you got there", but no ticket(I don't think he had a ticket book). I met him several years later, and he chuckled when I reminded him where we had met previously.

When you drive an NYG Neon on the street (complete with class/numbers/sponsor decals, etc.), you soon learn to behave yourself around town. It's not like you can outrun a cop and pull into a full parking lot to hide, saying "No officer, that wasn't me.". It's pretty much a given that they will recognize the car right away.

Still, we all get the occasional urge, and we all have our favorite places to "let it roll". The 4 way stop 1/2 mile from my street is one of my places. This rural road is just long enough to run ~1/4 mile at WOT and shut down before turning into my street (on 3 wheels). On this particular afternoon, the urge hit, so I left the intersection bent on "blowing out some carbon".

Mikey was running fine and screaming sweet, and at the top of 3rd gear, I saw a car coming the other way. You guessed it: County Sheriff.

Sure enough, blue lights and he's turning around fast. I have just enough time to brake for the turn into my street, so, anticipating a ticket, I pull into my front yard near the street (odd, since I always park in the rear), shut the car off, get out, and lean against the fender waiting. Seconds later, here he comes wide open down my street. Upon seeing me standing next to the car, he almost loses control braking to turn into my yard.

He gets out in an obvious huff (did I mention it's about 2 minutes before his shift change?), and starts in on me about being clocked at 84 in a 35 zone. I knew I was guilty, and I deserved it. Then he added the kicker: "Plus running the stop sign." I knew there was no way he could see the intersection from where he was when I launched, so I told him I didn't run the stop sign at all. He said that I must have, because there was no way I could have been going 84 MPH in that short of a distance. I swore to him I did it from a dead stop. That's when he started looking at the car. "What is this? A Neon? No way."

"Yessir, that's what it is. I've done a little work on it." I replied, grinning a little.

He peers into the car and says, "Is that a roll bar? What's with all these stickers on the side?"

"Well, officer, I sometimes kinda race it down at Watermelon"

"In Cordele? I've been down there.. nice little track."

"That's the place. Autocross. Spirited precision driving, kinda like they teach y'all in pursuit school up in Forsyth."

"Ever been there?" he asks.

"Never ran the course, but I know a couple of the instructors. One of 'em ran at our last event. In the K9 cruiser, with the dog in the car"

My lucky day: I'd run across a gearhead Mountie. We got to talking, and it turns out that I had sold him a Husky chainsaw many years before when I worked at a hardware store, and he reckoned it was the best chainsaw he'd ever owned. After we shot the bull a bit longer, he said he had to go make his shift change. No warning ticket.. nothing!

Lessons learned: Stop when you know they are after you. Tell the truth. Be respectful and friendly. Never sell a cop a crummy chainsaw.

NYG95GA wrote: Lessons learned: Stop when you know they are after you. Tell the truth. Be respectful and friendly. Never sell a cop a crummy chainsaw.

sometimes it pays to pull over and wait and sometimes not...

done that twice... stopped and waited that is..... worked once NCHP... (usually you don't get "away" with anything with them), the other time a Rutherford County Deputy, he had no sense of humor whatsoever.... should have run that time... very twisty mtn rd (NC 9 east of Bat Cave) ... he was getting coffee at a rd side stand, would have had to turn around, pass the 2 cars I had just passed (in a 180° turn) gotten by the next 2 cars that I had passed in the only "straight" stretch for the next 5 mi... there were numerous side rds and hiding spots, any of which I could have used.... the reckless driving ticket... changed to improper equipment after a ($) lawyer and remedial safe driving school (more $)....

Since you all seem to be experts, and im going to court on friday for doing 80 in a 65...i must ask......if the cop doesnt show up to court, must i still plead guilty/not guilty? And if the cop doesnt show up, obviously ill plead not-guilty if so....but any advice.

Im banking on the cop not showing because ive moved this court date twice, postponing it for over a year....and its on a friday afternoon in a crowded city. If not, ill just plead guilty with an explanation.

Cop: "The speed limit here is 55 mph. I clocked you doing 85 back there" Me: "If I was only doing 85mph, then you must have clocked me in a turn."

I went on to explain why I was in such a hurry, he agreed that it was a good reason, and let me go. Even radioed ahead and told his buddies not to stop me.

I'm noy proud of this, but here goes: Red Mountain Pass, on the million dollar highway. I was returning to Durango from Glenwood Springs, Co. A 200+ mile ride. I was on my trusty Honda CB-1, and it had been raining for hours. It was fall, and the sun was behind the mountains as I came down into Silverton. Speed limit dropped to 35, but I was stilkl maybe 10 miles out of town proper. I was doing at least 70 when I saw him, and I immediately pulled off. When he got to me, he asked "What's your hurry?" I'd had a moment to divise a plan. The temp was rapidly dropping, and the sun was gone. I exaggerated my shivering a bit, and with a shaky hand, pointed up to the sky, which was getting darker by the moment. After checking my credentials, the Trooper said " You saved yourself a ticket pulling right over. Would it make your day if I let you off with a warning?" "Yes"

Haha, great stories. I've got a decent one.

Leaving a small town one day on my 599, riding with a friend on a SV650. Ragbri was in the town that day, and the 1/2 mile took 20 leg frying minutes, so as soon as the speed limit jumped to 35, we both racked through the gears. Before braking the first curve, I looked down and saw 128, probably slowed to ~90, then back to WOT. We turned onto another road about 1/2 mile down, and proceeded at ~5-10 over the posted speed limit for 3 or 4 miles, when a couple cops popped over the hill, lights & sirens. A check of the mirror found another cop, lights blazing, behind us. Great, I've got a clean record, but my buddy has 3 pages of Achievement Awards, we aren't getting off on this. Pull over, key on the ground, bike on the side stand, helmet & jacket in the grass before any of the cops can get out.

The first cop starts by telling us that he called in the next jurisdiction, because he didn't think he would catch us, then asks how fast we were going. 'Sorry officer, I was watching the road, not my speedomete,' I reply. 'Well I was going over 100, and it took me 5 miles to catch you, so you must have been going at least 90!' said the cop. 'Yeah, that's probably pretty close,' I said as I handed over my license. He goes to talk to my friend, so I start talking to the other cops, they all ride sport bikes (WIN!). The cops go confer and come back with tickets for 70 in a 55, and a warning that 'even with gear, it will be a closed casket funeral at those speeds.' I didn't even get a warning for my license plate, it's mounted on a hinge and at ~60-70mph it flips up so you can't see it.

Another time I got pulled over for my tail lights being out. Cops pull me & my brother out, and stick us in the backseats of separate cars. Search my car for 30-40 minutes. While sitting in the back, I notice that my lights are still on, and my tail lights are working fine. That was the first time I've been pulled over in a fully street legal car, and the pigs didn't even pop the hood! Then they let us go, no tickets, no warnings. I should have filed a complaint.

Worst one for me- 1988, camping trip with two of my kids, heading for DC to visite with my sister. Got a well deserved ticket in South Carolina for 65 in a 55. Took the ticket went on my way at 55mph, not 1mph over that. In southern Va., cars were passing me like I was standing still. Did I mention I was driving an '83 Buick i had bought from Avis? Went under an overpass, Dodge Diplomat slides in behind me. Cop, unmarked, 4 antennas, big tires, sway bars, dog dish hub caps. Cop.. I still maintain 55mph. After about ten more minutes of this, my speed crept up to 58mph. Whopee!! all his lights go on, I pull over, not happy at all. One cop comes up on the drivers side, holding some kind of shield in front of him, other cop is back on the right side, gun out. Cop asks me for license and registration, I provide. He asks if this is a rental, I tell him I bought it from Avis and have paperwork to verify that. He wants to see it, so I VERY CAREFULLY reach into the glove compartment to retrieve the papers. Then he very nervously asks if he can look in the trunk. Hell, all I got is a tent and camping equipment, so sure. He looks it all over, briefly talks to his partner, and tells me I can go, just slow down. At that time my Irish temper exploded. "Why did you stop us???" He said "You were speeding". I responded "BULLE36 M3, CARS WERE PASSING ME LIKE I WAS STANDING STILL!! After much hemming and hawing he told me "You fit the profile" Yup, Florida rental car, low in the back end, driving too slow, yah, gotta be a drug runner. That could have gone very badly.

leigerreign wrote: Since you all seem to be experts, and im going to court on friday for doing 80 in a 65...i must ask......if the cop doesnt show up to court, must i still plead guilty/not guilty? And if the cop doesnt show up, obviously ill plead not-guilty if so....but any advice. Im banking on the cop not showing because ive moved this court date twice, postponing it for over a year....and its on a friday afternoon in a crowded city. If not, ill just plead guilty with an explanation.

The cop not showing up is a myth. It used to be true, but that went out a LONG time ago... your best bet is to plead, and pray probation with court fees and probation. And then don't get pulled over.

I got stopped one day in my GTi for doing 83 in a 55.
Being a smart ass, the cop asks to see my pilots lisence. So I showed it to him.
Not even a warning. Just an "Ok, thank you have a nice day."

Another time I got waved over by a cop giving tickets in a bullE36 M3 spot where the road changes from a 4 lane road to a 3 lane with a turn only lane, back to an all 3 lanes forward, to 2 lanes and one of those lanes as turn only. I was travelling at MAYBE 5mph with my turn signal on trying to move over when he stops me and tells me I failed to turn. I was polite trying to explain that I'm not familiar with the area, and how the traffic wouldn't let me in, etc, etc.
He comes back from his car and gives me a ticket for failure to turn.
me: This is such bullE36 M3. him: I did you a favor. I didn't write you up for not wearing your seatbelt. me: Well then why don't you go back and write it. I don't want to leave here having you think you did me any favors. him: (dumb blank look) me: (snap my fingers and point to his cruiser) Off he went, came back 5 minutes later with the seatbelt ticket. Yeah, I'm a friggin genius sometimes.

Another time I got stopped for doing 45 in a 25 in my hometown. Cop comes to the window, and I look at him and say, " wait what's your name?" He tells me, and I go, " Oh, I know you. My uncle was talking about you at Thanksgiving dinner last week." He asks me, "Oh yeah? Who's your uncle?" "Lieutenant Kearney. Isn't he your boss?" "Don't speed. If you get a ticket your insurance will go up. Have a nice day. Tell your uncle I said 'Hi.'" Helps to know someone.

Another story I forgot about, and probably the most fun i've ever had in court-

About two years after I purchased my DSM, a kind elderly gentleman though he would help me get the dents out of the passenger side of the car, by plowing into it at full bore. Long story short, car spent a few months in the body shop.

Anyhow, one nice April evening, I had the car out for a shakedown run (it had a bit of an electrical snafu that was amplified by the accident) and got pulled over. Now, I'm used to it at this point, driving a color matched DSM through a town littered with street racer wannabes was a great way to get to know the local constabulary. Turns out, he noticed I had a burned out headlight. Upon pulling me over, he runs the plate, and discovers that it's been suspended. According to the nice officer I had not provided insurance at the scene of the accident. This actually made me laugh out loud. The cop a little taken aback by this development, writes me a ticket for a dead headlight, no proof at the scene of an accident, no proof of insurance, and....tabs. I think. Of course he was cool with me because I was cool with him, and sends me on my way with a stern warning not to drive the vehicle again until this mess is sorted out. No big deal, I still have the beater Escort wagon at home. Go home, grab some beerz and call it a night. Next morning, have the day off work, so me being my proactive and somewhat hungover self, decide it's time to go to court. A search the night before had revealed the accident report from when the Talon got rearranged, and of course, it had my insurance information on it. No proof at the scene he says.

Wander up to the admin counter, and slap the ticket and the paperwork down. Lady at the counter looks at me like I've just dropped a Mogwai off in front of her. Ask politely if I can go upstairs and have court now. She replies no, and states that the next time I can have court is next week. Check the ol' schedule, and my day is free, so I get myself added to the docket.

Night before court- driving said old beater Escort, and the trans starts not shifting regularly, and then not at all. Torque converter is TOAST. I only paid 350$ for the car, and I had the Talon back tomorrow, so this is no big deal, right? WRONG. NO ONE on the planet could give me a ride to court the next day. So, here I am with a dead car and good plates, and a good car with dead plates..........

Arrive in court the next morning. Judge is more than a little surprised that I'm ready to go right away, paperwork in hand, proof and all of that. Ends up discharging all the tickets, mostly because he was a little baffled that someone fitting my description was that well spoken and ready to do work.

Run downstairs, show all that to court administration. Quick grab some tabs for the Talon, run out to the parking lot, put them on the car, and proceed to vacate the premises as quickly as possible.