Things NOT to say when being pulled over

You are some verbose motherberkeleyers.

NYG95GA wrote: Lessons learned: Stop when you know they are after you. Tell the truth. Be respectful and friendly. Never sell a cop a crummy chainsaw.

This is hard to do w/o sweating with a body in the trunk.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: This is hard to do w/o sweating with a body in the trunk.

I drive autocross, so I never keep anything loose in my trunk.

For dead bodies wrapped in old rugs.. I use the E150.. much easier loading and dumping.

Redneck moving for the win! Leave the barn doors open, Floor it in reverse, and hit the brakes! Might be a little messy, but if you want, you can even stick a lip at the trailing edge of the cargo area and unload for distance!

We were in east Tennessee for miatas at the gap, and were in a groupnof about 15 miatas. We weren't speeding, but I wa in a lower gear than I needed to be, and my car is loud. Cop pulls up, and yells at me that I was do my dying out there on the dragon, and not get killed on his roads.

Joey

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: You are some verbose motherberkeleyers.

"I resemble that remark."

~ Groucho Marx

Give me a call at the Algonquin Hotel. Ask for the round table. If a woman named Dorothy answers, hang up and try again.

Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: Yeah, do you?

My brother in law (RIP) was the best at confusing police and anyone else for that matter, to the point that they didnt know whether to laugh or get pissed off.

were in eastern long island, in my 78 canary yellow firebird, loud dual exhaust, and pull into a strip mall parking lot to stop at a store (probably the OTB) Im double parked at the curb, car running and a cruiser drives up next to me so we are window to window. bro in law is getting back in the car at this point and the officer says (in a very heavy accent) "Wvat is vong weth you muufler?" and before I can say a word, my bro in law says... "Its broken, Like your English" oye.... thought id get a dozen tickets for that one, but he laughed and left...

another time, in Miami, the bro in law is wanting donuts but we have no idea where a donut shop is . I jokingly say "we need to find a cop to ask" just then a cruiser pulls up next to us as were stopped at a red light, bro in law looks over, looks at me (im like, oh crap...), rolls the window down and yells "officer, wheres the donuts? " cop looks over, and says " two blocks down, make a left, it'll be on the right, easier parking is a bit further down the street."

It's midnight on I-70 in Colorado. I'm driving my C4 Vette to Vegas for the Silver State Classic. Cop stops me for 85 in a 75. He motions to the bright silver fire extinguisher on the roll bar and says" Man, I thought for sure you'd make a run for it with that nitrous tank!" (you can see it through the back window) My response: "No, I play fair, you don't have one in your car right? Besides thats a fire extinguisher." Cop laughs, I get a warning.

What NOT to say:

Officer "do you have any drugs or weapons in the car?"

"nope, all sold out"

Gearheadotaku wrote: What NOT to say: Officer "do you have any dugs or weapons in the car?" "nope, all sold out"

now i gotta wash the monitor... coffee spray you know...

Revenue collector- "I smell alcohol. Have you been drinking"?

Motorist being shaken down- "Your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts"?

My sister is a cop, every time I see her the first thing I ask her is if she has filled her quota for revenue generation.

Back in my college days in Waltham MA. He clocks me doing 55 in a 35. I was driving my late S14, and at the time it was not painted and the panels were mismatching.

Cop: do you know how fast you were going? Me: Officer, look at this crap heap, I couldn't have been going faster than 40... Cop: Haha, you've got a point there... slow down son

Sometimes it's good not to have a flashy car...

Spinout007 wrote: The cops first words were "I thought you were trying to run from me" , folks I can tell you from experience, laughing at the cop that says that, is not the thing to do.

Duly noted, that sounds like something I'd do. The only time I got pulled over in the AE92 I had been successfully outrunning the cops for a couple minutes - I just didn't know it. Honest. He told me he'd been chasing me for a while and I just told him that the first I heard or saw of him was about 140ft back (where I had to come to a stop and he finally caught up). I got a ticket, but I was clocked at 30kph over, which isn't an unreasonable speed to give a ticket for and a number I won't contest . My only complaint is that the two shiny happy people forming a rolling roadblock at 40kph who I finally passed just before breaking the speed limit made a clean getaway.

I've only been pulled over once in the Samurai - a "random" stop by a rookie cop out to ruin someone's day. He wanted to confiscate the truck due to a potential gap in insurance coverage. Luckily a more experienced cop came and got him to back off.

Spinout007 wrote: The cops first words were "I thought you were trying to run from me" , folks I can tell you from experience, laughing at the cop that says that, is not the thing to do.

Reminds me exactly of my first time being pulled over at 16 in my 85 Fiero SE. I pulled out (apparently in front of a State Trooper in a Mustang), sped up to about 45-50 in a 35 and pull into a friends house to drop off my sister. Cop pulls in behind me and says he thinks I was trying to run from him. I actually did laugh. I mean... a stock Fiero outrun a State Trooper in a Mustang. I told him as such and he must have believed me as he let me off with a warning.

I have found that the "Good Ole Boy" rule is the most important one to follow. A few years back in my GTX, I was pulled over in the mountains of rural NC (with Ga tags) for passing on a double yellow after impatiently following a slow line of cars for miles through the mountains. Turns out the car behind me was a Trooper. I freaked him out right away by trying to hide my radar detector as I wasn't sure of the laws in NC. Next thing I know I have my hands on the hood while he pulls a stick from inside the car saying it's a "concealed weapon" and asking me about a ziplok bag he sees thinking it's drugs (just a waterproof bag for a camera). He asks what we're doing up there and we tell him we're headed to a small town nearby to a Christian camp. He knows the town and the camp. All of a sudden, he changes his tune and says as long as the tag and my ID check out, we'll be on our way. I told him I probably shouldn't have the stick in the car, but he says "nonsense, lots of people have stuff like that for protection" 8-O. He then advised me that if I get pulled over in the future I should pull any weapons, guns, etc out and put them on the dash in plain site. Yeah right. After the way he reacted to me sticking a radar detector out of sight can you imagine if I had a waived a gun and sat it on the dash! I actually did have a gun in the glove compartment (completely legal in Ga), I'm just glad it never got so far as a search of the car or it could have really gone badly.

I'm waiting for the day that I lose it, and get pulled over-

"Were you running from me?"

"No, because you wouldn't have caught up if I was"

joey48442 wrote: We were in east Tennessee for miatas at the gap, and were in a groupnof about 15 miatas. We weren't speeding, but I wa in a lower gear than I needed to be, and my car is loud. Cop pulls up, and yells at me that I was do my dying out there on the dragon, and not get killed on his roads. Joey

I've had a similar experience out there... On entry to the Dragon, there's a gravel pit on the outside of a blind corner. I went through in 2nd gear in the Celica, and combined with my badly patched exhaust, and the world's loudest intake, it makes quite a racket. Trying to warm up my tires, and enjoying immensely the newfound grip of some monster 245/45-16s on a 2300lb car, i romped on the gas after the apex.

Imagine my surprise when i see the gravel pit filled with at least 10 cop cars.

One of them stepped out to the shoulder and shook his finger at me.

I couldn't help but laugh.

I should have left it there. I yelled out the window to him:

"Sorry Mom!"

Luckily, he busted up laughing and i continued on my merry way.

was that in 2007? Bad year for cops on the Dragon.

"Hey, what ever happened to Mahoney?"

Gearheadotaku wrote: What NOT to say: Officer "do you have any drugs or weapons in the car?" "nope, all sold out"

Why? Can't take the competition?

Gearheadotaku wrote: was that in 2007? Bad year for cops on the Dragon.

2008, actually.

I didn't get hassled in 2007, but i was also in a stock car that year.

"My wife ran away with a cop and I thought you were bringing her back!"

I almost said something stupid a few years back when I got pulled over returning from an autocross with a 1st place trophy in the front seat, but I came to my senses before I did.

Ricky explains how to handle the police, WARNING: lots of swearing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94XaazD0ddY

IMO: Trailer Park Boys is the best thing to come out of Canada since Red Green. If you haven't watched it before, I highly suggest you do so away from children and easily offended people. Lots of swearing, lots of drug content.

Gearheadotaku wrote: What NOT to say: Officer "do you have any drugs or weapons in the car?" "nope, all sold out"

damn you.... it hurts to blow coffee out your nose....

Cop: "So Mrs. teh poop, does he drive like this all the time?"

Mrs. teh poo: "Nope. Only when he's been drinking."

She didn't actually say it, but the thought of her saying made me start laughing uncontrollably. I paid for that one.