This is why I can’t have money.

Most of it would be pissed away on what the wife considers foolishness.  There’s a temporary Seinfeld exhibit and they’re selling some nifty artwork.

A velvet Newman would look great over my sofa:

A tiny crayon Kramer:

I could go on...

My wife banned my velvet elvis from our bedroom....

Just spend it. 95% of what I spend my money on are things my wife considers foolishness (example: Charmin forever roll). 

I don't have a concerned female party to tell me no, so I just buy the foolishness and wonder where all my money went...

Those look like solid investments to me.

I’m almost 57 years old.  Go ahead and pull your Social Security statement and add up all your wages.  My first year of input was 1978.  

You’ll really question where all your money went.  Food is my first item.

Art is wholly subjective and meant to elicit emotion from the owner. Most of my art looks like expensive toys and collectibles I buy on whims. If a velvet that guy {I know 0 about seinfeld} turns your crank, do it. 

In other news, the words that came out of my mouth when I saw that were "Oh jesus berkeleyin' christ Wally". So.... do with that what you will. 

DO EEET. I used to run around with a snobby rich kid years ago, like right after highschool. In the middle of the living room of his parents million dollar house, in view from most every entrance, was a velvet "The Costanza", George posing in his underwear for that boudoir shoot episode. A velvet Newman would downright class a joint up.

In reply to Mndsm :

I was going to judge but then I remembered that I collect crappy watches so I can't really judge anyone.

I once paid 10 bucks for an old pen just because it says "Nintendo 64" on it.

So...yeah. I can relate wholeheartedly.

1: I literally laughed out loud at the thread title.

2: Laughed harder when I saw the painting.

3: IF YOU DON’T BUY IT, I WIIL!!!

I bought this guy the other day to go on the porch by the pool. I saw it in Maine and loved it.

I'm not going to tell you what I spent on it, but he's one of the reasons I will retire with less than I could. 

The answer is Matchbox cars.  In the past couple months, I've bought a Miata, an Austin Healey, a CRX and a Datsun 510.  Total spent: Less than $5.  Of course, "normal" people look at you all judgy for pawing through the big blue boxes at Walmart.  

In reply to kazoospec :

Oh I can make that expensive. I slipped into the Tomica rabbit hole. $28 for one really nicely modeled 1/64 scale car.

Daylan C said:

In reply to kazoospec :

Oh I can make that expensive. I slipped into the Tomica rabbit hole. $28 for one really nicely modeled 1/64 scale car.

So I'm blissfully minding my own business, buying $1 Matchbox/Hotwheels, and now I know about stuff like this: 

I nominate you for enabler of the year.

In reply to kazoospec :

The Tomica stuff seems to range from unreasonably expensive to "fuuuuuuuuuuaaarrrkkk". The one I got was really nice though.

How much for a Fusilli Jerry?

kazoospec said:

Daylan C said:

In reply to kazoospec :

Oh I can make that expensive. I slipped into the Tomica rabbit hole. $28 for one really nicely modeled 1/64 scale car.

So I'm blissfully minding my own business, buying $1 Matchbox/Hotwheels, and now I know about stuff like this: 

I nominate you for enabler of the year.

I may as well just buy this one.  I can't fit in a real (full size) one either.  

I expected there would be a fusilli Jerry

A Seinfeld poster seems like money well spent!  I have Doom, Wolfenstein, and Quake artwork hanging in my house. 

kazoospec said:

Daylan C said:

In reply to kazoospec :

Oh I can make that expensive. I slipped into the Tomica rabbit hole. $28 for one really nicely modeled 1/64 scale car.

So I'm blissfully minding my own business, buying $1 Matchbox/Hotwheels, and now I know about stuff like this: 

I nominate you for enabler of the year.

Paging Chandler, Chandler to the white courtesy phone. 

kazoospec said:

The answer is Matchbox cars.  In the past couple months, I've bought a Miata, an Austin Healey, a CRX and a Datsun 510.  Total spent: Less than $5.  Of course, "normal" people look at you all judgy for pawing through the big blue boxes at Walmart.  

If you do it in your underwear, and pee on the potatoes on your way out you will be just like the rest of the shoppers and no-one will judge you. 

Dusterbd13-michael said:

My wife banned my velvet elvis from our bedroom....

I'm not saying that you posted that as an euphemism.....but that is a great euphemism there

An even better Weird Al song.