Throwing a dart at a map

My wife and I are completely dissatisfied with out living situation. We want badly to change that.

A little back story:

My wife was a kindergarten teacher. At that school the year she was hired, there were 3 or 4 different principals. They jokingly said that they had a revolving door policy with principals at that school. Her work wasn't affected directly by it, but she had different people to report to, sometimes on a weekly basis. At the end of the 2010 school year, a new principal was assigned to that school. He hired quite a few new teachers, which is kinda normal for that school. Right off the bat, he started singling out several teachers, including my wife, to get rid of for no reason whatsoever. No performance issues, no attendance issues, nothing. Around March of this year, he informed my wife and one other teacher that their contracts weren't going to be renewed, with the reason of "I can do whatever I want" coming from the principal. The other teachers he gave a hard time were on continuing contracts and he couldn't let them go. In the end, we feel that my wife and the other teacher were simple made an example of.

So that leaves us with only my paycheck and her unemployment to get by with for now.

The only job I can get other than substitute teaching is at the call center, doing DSL tech support for "Horizon" business customers. I left that company close to 2 years ago because the job outright sucks. They hired me back, doing the same job that I started with last time, which sucks. Not looking for pity, or even comments on this part, as it's what we have to do to make ends meet and it will be done. Anyway, it's the kind of job that doesn't require me to think. Any of you that know me personally know that I like to think for myself and think of new things and new solutions to problems. In the end, the job is sucking my soul, and I've only been back 5 weeks.

Now to the issue at hand:

We want out of this town. We've depleted a great deal of our savings trying to pay off some bills to that we wouldn't have them when we couldn't afford them. We're down to less than $500 in that account. Job prospects for my wife look dim. They've not really been hiring teachers this year, but there is often a big hire right around Labor Day that we're holding out for. My wife can't really get a job in the mean time because she is constantly making contact with principals to keep her resume on the top of the pile. It's nearly useless when that pile goes untouched, though. But when she does get called in for an interview, she normally only has an hour to get to the school for said interview. That, at least until after Labor Day, keeps her from working anywhere else at a lower wage.

Getting long winded, and I'm getting to the point now.

Has anyone here ever just gotten in their car and driven town to town looking for a good place? It's very hard to do research like that online because every town seems to have a wonderful picture painted online, including our E36 M3-hole of a town.

Once my wife starts working again, or we get bills payed off by me doing more side jobs, I want to take an extended road trip to find a new settling place. I need to find a job for me that will actually utilize my brain and isn't numbers based. I want to be able to come up with ideas to fix problems, not implement the problem that was supposed to solve the previous problem. I feel underutilized in every job I've ever held, with the exception of lawn care and painting. Oddly enough, those mundane jobs were the most rewarding jobs I've ever had. I guess the sense of pride is what did it for me.

Anyways, rambling again. How did relocating this way work out for you? Is it something that should never ever be attempted, or is it something that would work out well for someone that's been able to problem-solve out of every issue he's ever faced? Should I just stay in this hell-hole until my soul is gone but we have enough money to move to somewhere less soul sucking? I really think finding the perfect place up front and making that work is the obvious best choice, but I really value the opinion of everyone here that has far more life experience than my 25 years have provided me.

Disclaimer: I only have 21 years of life experience

I'd first ask yourself (selves) where do you want to be? What about your town is soul sucking? What do you want in the town you are going to be living in? After that, where in the country? How far are you willing to relocate? What towns have you seen that you like? You would probably be able to at least get an idea with these questions.

I personally like Abindgon, VA. I have family there, there's work, and the climate is mild in the summer, but has that funky white crap in the winter. I think I can learn to live with that, though. Cost of living is pretty good, and there's several factories where I can likely get work. Getting my wife's certificate transferred is always a big deal, and from what I understand, VA has one of the hardest transfers out there. I may be wrong, as I'm going on hearsay info on that.

Good luck. I have been trying like hell to get out of NY since I moved here as a kid 15 years ago. I have considered moving to Tampa, we have a place we can live, but SWMBO detests the idea of living in FL. Instead, I'm staying at my job at a grocery store and gunning for a transfer to Mass. once we open up outside of boston in the fall.

Unless you have work lined up for you, I'd avoid Florida. I've completely lost faith in my home state, and it has zero to do with politics.

Don't forget to have her check out private schools in the area, and possibly even public schools in adjacent districts. The commute might suck, but employment does not.

Also, look for education-type positions in other types of organizations. An example: Sea World has a large education department, as does Animal Kingdom. (I know that Kissimmee is probably too far away for those to be viable options, but it may give you an idea what to look for.) See if any Museums/Zoos/Non-profits have people on staff doing teaching.

Derick Freese wrote: .......Anyways, rambling again. How did relocating this way work out for you?

In post-war Ireland, my folks felt they had no prospects. Neither had a formal education past the age of 12. So my Dad went to the Canadian Embassy and got a loan for the equivalent of $20. He used this to buy a steerage ticket on a cargo ship bound for Toronto. He didn't know anyone in Canada and had no "Plan B" (hell, he didn't even have a Plan A).

Found a rooming house and got a job as a laborer for CN (the railroad) on his second day in North America. Started saving his money and few months later send it back so me and Mom could come over (on a Lockheed Constellation).

Five years later, we got in a Dodge and drove to New Jersey where I still live. I have one sibling born in Toronto and five born in the US. They built a successful life and put us all thorough graduate school (plus one PhD and one JD). It just takes persistence.

They were about your age when they left Ireland (~50 years ago).

Has your wife considered child care? I mean the age range between kindergarten and pre-k aren't that far apart, and people always seem to be looking for educated pre-k teachers. Around me, some teachers go the pre-k route, because the pay can be double that of the schools. About $60k, for pre-k... Something to think about.

As for you, I'd throw computers out the window, too many people in that field, I'm not saying that the job you find won't most likely involve using what you know, but keep an open mind. Check govjobs and search CL, do write off a job that is only $30k a year, because you never know what it might turn into, or the company might offer you more based on your experience.

i once moved by littler closing my eyes and point at a map. bought a 300 dollar 89 ford escort ( i lived in downtown boston at the time no car before then) took the 700 dollars in my pocket. drove to texas. got there and immediatly went and picked up someone so id have a place to live. obviously where you are already married that is not an option. but with 2500 in pocket you could prob do it. i looked for and got a job the next day managing a jiffy lube. (decent pay actually) has worked out great. of note the person i picked up for the pure purpose of using them for thier bed is now my partner of almost 8 years.

I think youre on the right track with the Virginia idea...but maybe not on target. I am a firm believer in Networking. Use contacts you already have to help guide your decision. Friends, Family, previous coworkers or employers can all help you in this. I like LinkedIn as a tool for this. It helped me get my resume together, get references from past managers/employers, and helped me find the company I moved to when my last employer failed to renew our contract. I was able to get out of there, and into a better position, without a lapse in employment, and I credit networking with that.

I hope your search works out. I know being aimless seems like your withering away.

FWIW, Mason, Ohio (north of cincinnati, and basically in my backyard) just got voted in the top 25 cities to live in (by CNN I believe). My wife and I are in our "starter house" right now, saving for the day when we can buy some land and put up our "for the rest of our lives...or until she decides she wants to move again" house. Mason is the top city for our land search...we hope to have the land selected this time next year, paid for in the next 3 years, and sell thsi place and break ground in the next 5.

People want to bag on Cinci for this reason or that, but its one of the top metropolitan sites in the nation from a marketing standpoint due to a very diverse population in terms of economics and ethnicity, diverse employment landscape, and geographical location (transportation hub - air, truck, and rail transport). I know there is a bilstein (yes suspension bilstein) plant nearby in another suburb of Cinci, and they are hiring . I love this city, and think its a great place to move to.

I've relocated lots of times, but it was not a look at the map and go type thing. I moved when Uncle Sam told me it was time to go, and I had a job to when I got to wherever I was going. Now that I am no longer in the service I've only relocated once (so far).

Don't let your crappy job or your town be a soul sucker. Take control, and realize that they can only do that to you if you let them. Tough it out, grit your teeth and go to work to get your paycheck. Refuse to let it suck your soul, change your attitude. I realize that you cannot make something that you do not like into the world's best job with just a change in attitude, but you can make it different than it is now.

Stick it out a bit, save some money and then make your move if you two are ready to give it a go somewhere else. Teaching seems very cliquish to me, and just showing up in a new town it will be hard to get a job as a teacher from what I've seen. Maybe sit tight and have your wife try to find a teaching position somewhere else via the internet and when she finds something pack up and go at that point.

No kids?

Throw the dart. Literally, if that's what it takes. Let the dart only determine the state, though. If that dart hits California, Florida, or Michigan, you get a do-over, though.

I like.... Colorado. You want a change? That would be a change. Colorado is where i'm moving next.

If you're looking for a suggest on where to go, I think the greater Appleton, WI area is a great place to have a family, albeit a bit boring sometimes. Tons of stuff to do with the outdoors though, relatively low crime rate, small town attitudes, big city amenities...

You just have to deal with winter!

I won't argue that various places are nicer than others, or that the town you live in is lousy. I will comment that I've observed a whole lot of what a place is like resides between my own two ears. When I view strangers as friends I've never met, life is more pleasant than when I view those same strangers as impending enemies.

I've relocated many times. As a kid and as an adult, with plans and without. Sometimes it's been great, sometimes it's been a disaster. The looser and more flexible you are, the easier it tends to be.

Would I go leaping off blindly today in hopes of landing in greener pastures? No. Do I plan on going to greener pastures some day? Yes. Emphases on that word plan.

Counter caviat to my own words about planning. I've a friend that literally takes a dart and throws it at a world map. Off she goes. She's done this almost all her life, including taking with her a husband and two sons (until they grew up and went off on their own). She's landed on her feet almost every time. She is very flexible, and views the world and its people as a playground full of friends to meet. She is sharp, and her eyes are wide open.

As good a place to start as any: America's Strongest Job Markets. Coming from Florida, Greenville/Spartanburg and Raleigh would be an easy transition - with the upside of actual seasons. Jobs are most plentiful in DC, but the cost of living would be much higher than you are used to.

Do you live near ski country? Find the closest big ski resort. There will likely be openings in childcare as well as other things. If you are mechanically inclined go for a mountain operations job(lift maint, facilities or whatever). Resorts don't always get the hardest workers, so if you are a hard worker, you can move your way up quickly, while learning something new. Don't worry if you don't have experience, most will train you on the job if you appear like you are motivated.

I don't have any good advice (I found the only new job in Michigan a few years ago to be near my now-wife), but I'll say a prayer for you, your wife and your situation.

With skinny finances and the job market what it is, I wouldn't move first and look for a job later. You could find yourself living in your car and then having to sell the car to buy groceries. More than a few people have been caught on that downward spiral.

Even in some of the towns mentioned above, like Raleigh, that supposedly have good job markets, it will be tough to find a job. Especially if you arrive unemployed. If you get on the local city boards you can get an idea of what the job market is really like.

Pick where it is you want to live then arrange the job before you go.

That's my advice, though admittedly I might be more conservative about such things than others.

Absolutely - finding work before you move is essential.

I like Texas. Property is cheap, no state tax, and there is a metric berkeleyton of jobs in the Plano area. That's my next stop.

Foxtrapper mentioned one of the big issues - what's between your ears. Maybe it's just how it comes across, but you have a sense the only job you're qualified for is a dsl tech. If that's really what you think, your options are going to be pretty narrow. You also mentioned side jobs, feeling underutilized and a sense of pride with accomplishment. Maybe a little soul searching for what you/your family really want, formulate a plan and work it.

When my wife and I moved to Chicago - we just packed up and went. After a few months of not finding a job I started a little marketing company. It did ok, and ended up with a client hiring me on full time - sorta wish I had a do-over on that decision. Trust your abilities - and maybe read shop class as soul craft - see other thread..

neon4891 wrote: Good luck. I have been trying like hell to get out of NY since I moved here as a kid 15 years ago. I have considered moving to Tampa, we have a place we can live, but SWMBO detests the idea of living in FL. Instead, I'm staying at my job at a grocery store and gunning for a transfer to Mass. once we open up outside of boston in the fall.

Just bypass the FL part of the "I'm moving from NY to FL to North GA" equation, and move directly to north georgia. Then when you get here, please be sure to tell us how stupid we all are and how much better things were 'back home.'

In 1991, the dealership I worked for in Columbia SC got sold and the new owners swept the place clean. My GF at the time and I were on a downhill slide, so there was really nothing to keep me where I was. I was looking for new horizons, so I moved to Charleston and stayed with my brother for a short time until I got a job.

Fast forward 20 years, after a divorce etc things were getting tight. I couldn't afford to keep paying for the house, it was eating into my savings which could drastically affect my retirement and my job prospects weren't good, not because of a lack of places to apply but rather geographically as I wasn't close to my daughter during the day and had ~zero~ support network to help with her if things went awry during the day.

I sold my house and moved back to Columbia, I'm staying with family till I get things rolling. No job, no nothin'. (At age 53 with a teenage daughter that's sorta spooky. Looks real good on the dating websites, too. The wimmen come a'runnin'. ) I've been here 10 days, after jumping through hoops moving cars and stuff and getting my daughter registered for high school I finally found time to apply at 3 places yesterday and got a call back from one of them this morning. I've found 3 houses in my price range in decent 'hoods with the ability to contain another Garage Majal.

So with you at a younger age with what you see as no real prospects in your area I see no reason you can't just pull up stakes. Here's the big thing that I was learning the hard way: do NOT piss away your savings just treading water! Use those savings to start over somewhere else if you really feel that's what you need to do.

But I will echo to avoid California, Nevada and Florida like the plague. The state economies just aren't currently conducive to a life reset.

Being from the Pacific Northwest I will through that out as an option. There happens to be a large aerospace company there as well as several IT companies. The Bellevue area is full of rich people who send there brats to private school. Mountains, ocean, sunshine occasionally. It ain't bad. Except for the sports teams, and the cost of living, and the autocross scene up here is pretty spread out since the central location shut down a few years ago (blame some legal jerk at that previously mention aerospace company).

In reply to Derick Freese:

I didn't read all the replies, so sorry if this has already been brought up. One thing people may not think about are health issues. For instance, MS is much more prevalent in the north. In fact, it seems to increase the further away one is from the equator. There are other diseases that have geographic/environmentaly components, and it would be wise to look into that before relocating anywhere. Don't ask me how I know.