unneeded warning label

On a timing belt package today:

"Do not lift engine by timing belt." Ok, I guess if you had enough beer...

"Make sure engine is shut off and has stopped turning before removing belt." Really?

That would be like a warning on a pencil sharpener that says "do not insert hootus and turn crank"

All it takes is one idiot and an ambitious lawyer. It's better to have the obvious warning, i guess.

Rufledt wrote: All it takes is one idiot and an ambitious lawyer. It's better to have the obvious warning, i guess.

I don't think so. The print is so fine, and there is so much junk on the labels now there is no room for actual useful information now. If somebody want to take the toaster in the tub with them, please go ahead. We shall survive nicely without those people, and they shall serve as good warning for the rest of us.

I would like to submit

I got some corned beef that had an odd warning label. It said "Made in Brazil".

Brazil must feed their cattle some bizarre stuff to make corned beef taste like salmon. The odd thing is, the taste grows on you. And it was only $2/lb!

Jar of peanut butter: May contain peanuts.

/thread

or

Doctor, want to talk about the screwdriver hobby? WTF?

This message does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or alter ego; all rights reserved; you may distribute this message freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change without notice; this message has not been safety tested for children under the age of 3; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; intended solely for the private use of our audience; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this message is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; prices may vary in Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico; message is provided "as is" without any warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; past performance does not predict future results and people can and do lose money; an equal opportunity message; no shoes, no shirt, no message; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this message could be hazardous to your health; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician; may cause drowsiness, alcohol may intensify this effect; use caution when operating a car or dangerous machinery; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; objects in mirror are closer than they appear; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply; contest ends 12-31-98; contents measured by weight only, contents may settle in transit; May cause random outbursts of extreme violence, epileptic seizures, or whatever; actual message may differ from illustration on box.

Streetwiseguy wrote:

Rufledt wrote: All it takes is one idiot and an ambitious lawyer. It's better to have the obvious warning, i guess.

I don't think so. The print is so fine, and there is so much junk on the labels now there is no room for actual useful information now. If somebody want to take the toaster in the tub with them, please go ahead. We shall survive nicely without those people, and they shall serve as good warning for the rest of us.

But if enough people do that, the gooberment will outllaw toasters, and then how will I eat my toast?

Bill, I pretty sure you missed something. I'm not sure what, but there has to be something.

This should be all that is ever required.

914Driver wrote: Doctor, want to talk about the screwdriver hobby? WTF?

Hey, I"m just relaying the important message. Trust me, every orifice below my chin is Exit Only.

James Gregory the comedian: 'There's a big sign on the door of an airplane DO NOT OPEN DURING FLIGHT. You know what that means? Long ago, some dumbass said to his wife 'Honey, I'll be right back...'

Rufledt wrote: That would be like a warning on a pencil sharpener that says "do not insert hootus and turn crank"

At least one model chainsaw was sold with a warning that you should not try to stop the chain with your hands or genitals

Which I'd say is in the same league as trying to remove a whirring timing belt.

Though in part about why those sort of warnings.

Many riding mower repair manuals tell you to lift the mower by a spare belt, and then go work under it.

And I think I've still got the manual that shows you how to remove the generator belt off a VW motor with a screwdriver while the motor is running. And put it back on. Never tried it myself.

foxtrapper wrote: And I think I've still got the manual that shows you how to remove the generator belt off a VW motor with a screwdriver while the motor is running. And put it back on. Never tried it myself.

That was my first thought reading the fort post. Here's the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQhfcdQf1QA

Streetwiseguy wrote: I don't think so. The print is so fine, and there is so much junk on the labels now there is no room for actual useful information now. If somebody want to take the toaster in the tub with them, please go ahead. We shall survive nicely without those people, and they shall serve as good warning for the rest of us.

My wife has told me she is pretty sure our toaster is safe to use in the shower, that's why it's nice and shiny so I can also use it as a shaving mirror.

Wow, the reinstallation part looks like a good way to get a screwdriver through the hand

"do not taunt happy fun ball"

I like that the general public is now so stupid they don't know what "orally" means. One of my wife's medications says "take one pill my mouth..." on the directions.

It's really time to start thinning the herd...

Wally, why do you think it comes with "Double Insulated".

Tell her to go ahead.....

A friend who works in the pharmaceuticals industry told me that during one trial they had to add a warning label to suppositories advising that they were not to be taken orally.

gamby wrote: "do not taunt happy fun ball" I like that the general public is now so stupid they don't know what "orally" means. One of my wife's medications says "take one pill my mouth..." on the directions. It's really time to start thinning the herd...

92CelicaHalfTrac wrote:

That has to be fake. Please tell me it's fake.

GameboyRMH wrote:

92CelicaHalfTrac wrote:

That has to be fake. Please tell me it's fake.

Fake or no, I'm still laughing.