02Pilot
02Pilot HalfDork
6/15/13 3:31 p.m.

Planned a simple Saturday of replacing rear control arms on my E39 525i in anticipation of getting a needed four-wheel alignment Monday. 150k miles on the car, has a high-speed shimmy, no sense aligning it with old suspension parts (front arms, tie rods, and struts recently replaced, by me, without undue difficulty).

Start with the first bolt. Lousy access, but not impossible. It's tight. Real tight. Apply more force (as you do) - SNAP! Charming. It's a special bolt with an eccentric built in which is guaranteed to be A) only available from BMW, and B) not in stock at my local dealer on Monday. Lovely.

OK, maybe I can at least get everything else done so all I have to do is slap in the replacement bolt. Nope. Ball joint end of the arm just spins when I try to get the nut off. It's mounted horizontally, so I can't get a jack under it, and there's no good way to apply clamping or lateral force to it to stop it from spinning. And there's absolutely no way to get an impact in there.

Move to the other side. Same story. But wait, there's more good news! As I'm trying to maneuver things around and figure out if there's some magic perfect angle known only to German engineers, I feel play where I had not felt play before. What's that? Oh, look, it's the monster press-in ball joint that connects the knuckle to the lower control arm. The one I didn't order because it seemed OK when I checked it previously. And the one I don't have the tools to replace.

So now I've got a car that's undriveable due to the broken control arm bolt, that needs parts I can't get until next week, and requires additional work that would necessitate purchase of more tools. As mortifying and financially painful as it is to me, I'm giving up. It's going to my preferred BMW indy on a flatbed as soon as he can take it. I'm so ashamed. But I also know that the alternative involves me becoming enraged and smashing things, which will probably end up being even more expensive.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be struck by lightning or hit by a bus. It would be an improvement over today.

Rant over. I'm going back to my fetal position.

DoctorBlade
DoctorBlade UltraDork
6/15/13 4:19 p.m.

I'd walk carefully back to the bedroom, you don't know if your luck will hold or not.

Jaxmadine
Jaxmadine Reader
6/15/13 4:39 p.m.

I had that issue with a mid 90s 3 series. Thank god for cutoff wheels, cuz that was the only thing that got it out.

PHeller
PHeller UltraDork
6/15/13 11:08 p.m.

And people wonder why I'd like to walk or ride bicycle to work. Cars either cost you time, money, or blood.

Wally
Wally GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
6/15/13 11:23 p.m.
02Pilot wrote: Maybe tomorrow I'll be struck by lightning or hit by a bus. It would be an improvement over today.

Is it wrong if I root for the lightning? I don't want tomorrows rant to be about the mountain of paperwork I need to do because someone ended up under a bus.

BoostedBrandon
BoostedBrandon Dork
6/16/13 12:34 a.m.

In reply to PHeller:

Our in my case, all three!

Mental
Mental PowerDork
6/16/13 2:49 a.m.

But next time, when it goes correct, it will feel so much better becuase you know the sting of frustration.

My DDs go to repubtable indy mechanics so I can get to work. The toys are saved by the addition of a beer fridge in my garage. As I have said 100 times before. When I encounter a problem that is frustrating me, I stop and get a beer. If its not resolved by the 2nd beer, I clean up my tools, put everything away and research the issue on the web.

But feel better, we have all been there.

iceracer
iceracer UberDork
6/16/13 10:00 a.m.

Throw your tools down. carefully,of course.

Go do something not related to automobiles.

when you go back to the problem, things will seem a little better.

Lesley
Lesley PowerDork
6/16/13 10:08 a.m.

I second the "carefully" part. The Mighty Dak still bears the scar from a hurled ratchet after 2 hours swearing at a farkin 02 sensor.

02Pilot
02Pilot HalfDork
6/16/13 2:14 p.m.

Thanks for the commiseration. I've resigned myself to handing the car over to my indy; I suspect my current relative state of calm will be shattered once I see the bill, but for now I'm going with it.

I think you're safe, Wally - not too many buses run around here, and thunderstorms are forecast for later this afternoon.

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