Well today escalated quickly...

oldtin wrote: Sorry man, that sucks. Sofa in Chicago burbs if you're by this way

X2, except basically the opposite side if Chicago. Couch or bed.

Pulling for ya.

On the pain side, I have a friend who had gone through every pain reduction option available for his pain as the result of a botched knee surgery. As a last ditch effort, the VA hospital tried battlefield acupuncture (tiny needles in your ears). Some say it's ineffective, but he's been thrilled with the results. He has treatments every two weeks and is literally a new man.

Javelin wrote: Also patching things up with SWMBO a little at a time for the kids' sake.

Please take a minute to assess whether staying together is really the best for the kids. Are you fighting constantly? Are you loving and supporting each other? What message are you sending to your kids every day about a healthy relationship? Sometimes, two happy parents in different houses are better than two angry, bitter ones constantly fighting in one. It's not easy, but for long-term happiness and stability, it may be the better option.

If you feel that together is the way to go, and you BOTH really want it to work, then go to counseling. Regularly. I still go annually for a tune-up. It only works if you are both open to it and willing to compromise and make changes.

Man, what a crap situation. I dont have anything to add but listen to what pinch said.

With regards to what pinchvalve said above:

Do you both honestly love one another? If either of you have to take a second to answer, then the ship may have sailed. If one party feels differently than the other, it can hurt, but sometimes you're better off co-parenting rather than staying together. Being friendly and sharing time with the kids is better than being unfriendly living at home together with the kids.

Ugh, sorry to hear that. I had mine two years ago (dog, divorce, house to wife, laid off) all in the span of 3 months.

But I'm much better off now even though it took about 18 months to get everything back in order. Don't fret, it will only go up from here!

There's a couch in OKC for you if you end up this way. I'm right next to Bricktown, so a few dozen food/beer/booze options all within just a few minutes walk from my swanky downtown pad.

In reply to dj06482:

My wife does acupuncture every 2-3 weeks as well and it makes her pain more bearable.

Type Q wrote: We are pulling for you and wishing you the best. It sounds like you are out of a E36 M3ty work situation. You and SWMBO are starting to talk through some underlying issues. As for you back, I had really good results working with this organization when I had a bulging disk that was not responding to conventional treatment that well. They came recommended by my doctor. I hope this helps in some small way.

Thank you, I'm looking into it!

In reply to minivan_racer:

We are honestly pretty happy together. There isn't really any animosity or arguments, at least for now. I'm keeping exit plans open just in case.

Re the spine problems: Have you gotten a second opinion on possible surgery? I am fused at c-4,5,6 after two surgeries resulting from car accidents. Both times I was in a lot of pain and starting to lose function. Today I am mostly pain free with no physical restrictions and even survived a 100 mph crash in my race car with zero problems. YMMV, but it's worth checking further. Good luck and one more with couch and or spare room space in Pa.

That's crappy. Very sorry to hear. My men's group was a huge help when I went through my divorce and resulting poverty. Support from (mostly) random Internet people is a start. No matter what happens I suggest finding a community out there that you can get real in-person support from.

I have some ideas if you're interested.

Chin up. Things will get worse before they get worse.

You've got a big support group of random internet weirdos willing to help in any way, including me. So you got THAT going for ya. The last few years have been the most berkeleyed up years of my life.

Feel free to reach out. Mike at hongnorr dot com, or seb mo sick, sick sick nine, tree fie sick sick.