Keep it clean...
Keep it clean...
My Dad taught me not to be afraid to attempt things.
Barry Rogers taught me to wrench (for pay!)
Victor Cervantes taught me to weld.
My mom taught me to think for myself
my dad taught me how to fix crap
my brother got me a cool job I was unqualified for which became a career I was unqualified for
I'm very glad I got fired from a job in my 20s. It brought the point home that it was grown up time very quickly. I also learned about the BS quotient:
If your value and criticality is exceeded by your BS, you're no longer valuable and critical.
Donated a kidney, donated bone marrow and donated blood.
Without having received those three things, well 63 units of blood to this point, and I'm O- , I wouldn't be here today.
Too much from too many folks to list them all, and these probably aren’t the biggest 3, but off the top of my head:
Took a chance on me, and hired me for a job that was a stretch for my background. Got me out of a job that going nowhere.
Stopped me from talking myself out of buying my NB.
Taught me the value of hard work
Met a guy 37 years ago who ran the autosport club at the university I was attending. We got along great during the one long chat we had and a week later he called me to say that he was graduating and that I was elected to be the new president. Met lifelong contacts through that club.
Friend of a friend hired me to work in a shop that serviced offshore powerboats. Paid for my engineering education .
Hired me for the current job that I thought might last 6 months and am now into 15 years. ( see first item on list under "lifelong contacts")
Dad: modeled for me the value of always meaning what you say and sticking to it...(also value of hard work)
Mom & Dad: paid for my college education, which meant no debt going into life. A huge leg up.
Wife: married beneath her.
My wife, parents, inlaws, aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends have all been immeasurably supportive over these past 10 days. Sometimes to the point of annoyance, but it sure helps you know that you’re supported no matter what. Everything from my wife’s friend staying overnight in the hospital with her while recovering from the C-Section, while I was with our newborn in another hospital because they have an ECMO. My parents came down 60 miles, at midnight, and MY Mom slept on a hospital couch with me in a recliner so I wouldn’t be alone.
Everyone else is stepping up with food, gift cards, or taking care of our dog.
There are other things that fit this, but right now I’m overwhelmed by the love and support of family and friends.
My wife’s family let my live in an apartment they owned in Japan rent free for a summer. Got to know them well. 27 years later I am still married they still make welcome me any time I am in Japan.
A generous neighbor let me wrench on and drive his 911 when I was a teenager.
My sister and her husband let me live with them a couple of months when I moved to California without a job.
My mother taught me to do my own taxes.
When I was 9 years old, a local car guy didn't tell me to "go away kid" when I'd lust over his green Corvette and actually tried to teach me about cars.
When a former coworker offered me a job and answered my phone call about it a year later.
My wife voluntarily deciding to spend the rest of her life with me.
My parents instilled in me a love of reading and learning. Also having my father perform my wedding.
My FIL showing me how to fix stuff.
Wow, that's good stuff.
My wife for marrying me when she should have run for the hills.
My parents for showing me that working hard gets you places regardless of your background and being, well, parents.
My boss for taking a chance on an unknown and continuing to support my work and drive.
The University of Missouri decided I was unfit for their engineering program. I was a terrible student. Then four years later I submitted an appeal to be readmitted, and they approved.
My mom bought me a guitar when I was in junior high. Been playing for 15+ years now and still love it.
My dad consistently gave me more and more insight into business workings, project management, business relationships, how to handle third party inspectors. The list goes on and on. It was always more than I could understand while we were working together, and it has made me a much more effective employee/professional/small business owner, even now that we don't work together anymore.
These might not be my top three, but I can manage to articulate these. Don't know how to put others into words.
My parents had me in a wealthy Western democracy.
I have brothers 17 and 21 years older than me, who were there for me at age 9 when my dad died.
My daughter's grew up to be intelligent, hard working adults who still speak to me, and understood the reasons that I spent so much time working.
Supplemental: My older daughter lets me have my 18 month old grandson for the weekend when she and hubby have shifts at the same time, which is great because he's the best behaved child I've ever encountered.
All three are actions by my dad.
One.
My mom had really bad post-partum depression after my younger brother was born.
My parents agreed that my dad would stay at his art school during the week, to give her some time away from him. He would come home on the weekends. I was about 3 1/2.
Starting on Monday, my mom stopped allowing me to have food or water. I remember unsuccessfully trying to get water from the kitchen faucet, while she and my older sister sat and watched.
Wednesday night, my dad acted on a sudden compulsion to get home and check on me. He walked in the door and went straight to my crib, picked me up and went straight to the hospital. He said that I was so dehydrated that my lips were pulled back from my teeth.
Three days without water can kill an adult. I am sure I had no more than a day to live if he hadn't intervened.
Two.
Later that year, my mom said she wanted to go to Indiana to spend the summer at the family farm. My dad bought her a car, and she took the three of us kids and went home. After a few months, she sent my dad a letter from North Carolina where we had moved, and said she wasn't coming home.
It was really difficult for a father to get custody in 1960, even though she had violated the law by not returning the children to their state. My dad's lawyer said that they could go to court, "... but if it was me, I'd go get my kids."
That's what he did, although he didn't get my sister. Likely saved my life a second time.
Three.
With help from his parents, my dad raised my brother and I. My younger brother was always looked after; he was the baby.
I struggled in school, and he did get me a math tutor one year, but it's hard for a single parent to keep on top of everything. My younger brother got plenty of attention, as appropriate for his age. My dad chose to look after him while I pretty much raised myself; my grandfather was my role model.
What I didn't see was that in my dad's eyes while we were growing up, I could do nothing right, and my brother could do nothing wrong. I never realized that, and had to have it pointed out to me years later, and told how lucky I was that the situation wasn't reversed.
Because of my dad's choice to favor my brother, I had the initiative and work ethic to change careers at 31, spend 10 years in school, and earn a veterinary degree. I'm in my 21st year as a DVM, and in my 23rd year of an amazing marriage.
My brother, who could do no wrong, is an alcoholic who hasn't held a job since the 80s. He blames me for everything that's wrong with his life.
Growing up, we had very little money. Mom stayed home with us kids, Dad was a teacher in a lower income district. Once my sister and I were in school, Mom went back to substitute teaching. I never really knew how much dad made, but I do know when he retired, his last year's salary was $36k and change. That was after 30 years of teaching, and it's not like that was the 70s, it was 2001. To say we were broke folks is an understatement.
When my grandparents passed away, they had a small inheritance which was split between me and my sister with a little going to mom and dad. They invested it very wisely and they are living a very healthy retirement.
What I'm glad they taught me is how to manage money. I now make about what dad made when he retired, but I own 4 cars, a motorcycle, a boat, two RVs, and a house of my own. They are all cheap, simple, and modest, and all involved a lot of sweat equity. They taught me the importance of making wise financial decisions and (even though they could) they never gave me or my sister handouts. They are always happy to loan money if we need, and they have offered to pay for continuing education, but my sister and I both make our own way thanks to their guidance.
Being financially independent while still affording all the things I need in life while only making $35k a year is a very nice feeling.
Three unbelievably kind folks that were the first to drive up on a car accident I was involved in. I was trapped in the car and the engine had caught fire (it was a Fiero, naturally). They found a bucket near by and ran a bucket brigade to a nearby house with an outside faucet and poured water on me to keep me from getting burned. One bucket on me, the next on the engine. They repeated that until the fire department could get there. If it weren’t for them, there is no telling how bad it could have been.
Same day, same crash. I was hurt pretty bad and EMS on the scene didn’t think I would make it out of the car alive. They had to extinguish the fire, cut clean the tree we hit, pull the car away from the tree, then cut me out of the car, which means I was in there for a long time. Vine Grove Police officer Riggs climbed in the car and held my hand during the process so I wouldn’t die alone.
Third, I don’t know. Nothing even comes close to the first two.
EDIT: One of my many doctors after the wreck was a guy named Dean Smith. He was real funny and a total character. Easily my favorite guy at the hospital. I ran into him a few years after the accident and he invited me out to to an autocross. I took one ride in his turbo 2nd gen MR2 on Hoosiers and I was hooked. He took me under his wing and taught me everything I needed to know about autocross. Almost 20 years to the day after nearly dying in that car wreck, Dean was the first person I called when I won my national championship in Lincoln in 2017.
My grandpa, he raised me. He was one of those old fashioned southern gentlemen you hear about but rarely meet.
What he taught me though actions mostly.
1) Love for your family is unconditional.
2) Let problems roll off your back like water off a duck's back (his words) - worrying doesn't solve anything.
3) Everyone is not going to like you, don't let it get you down. You may have a few true friends in your life and many acquaintances.
My dad taught me the basics; painting, plumbing, mechanics, woodworking, electrical, gardening, washing walls, and a bunch more including how to properly clean white wall tires. When I do these tasks I dwell on our time together.
My dad taught me how to love your wife as he was a good husband to my mom and he placed her first above all.
My dad didn’t have old cars or many hobbies that weren’t related to improving the home or family. His wife and six kids were priority and he taught me about family and love and what’s important.
My older sister let me live with her family for a year after I got thrown out of college. It helped me regroup, get focused and get back into school.
My doctor told me that I needed to get myself some health insurance.
My cousin asked me to help him buy a new car. I saw his annual income and it changed my life.
All three of these things happened at approximately the same time in my life.
My parents, who lived out their faith in front of me.
My wife, who walked my mom through the end stages of brain cancer with grace, kindness and strength.
My old boss, who was the first person to believe that a shy high school kid could be a prosecutor some day. This was when some people in the office still thought I was a mute.
I'm obsessed with aviation. I can't remember how I came to be that way. But there isn't anyone that stoked that fire more than my mom. She took me to my first airshow, my first Oshkosh, she was there the day I soloed. The first person I took up with me. She deserved that much.
My dad taught me how to run a machine. To take care of it, and it would take care of you. Taught me to see the lay of the land, see the highs and lows, and how to level it. He trusted a 20 year old kid to go out alone to a job site filled with oldtimers, get the job done quickly, and correct. And to not take any E36 M3 from them because I was a kid. I earned their respect. There stands a chance in the next few months my experience could land me a operator job again, making enough money and benefits to live more comfortable than I can imagine. Because my dad taught a punk kid how to run a Bobcat.
My fiance. She has accepted me as I am. Loved my stupidity, my accidents, my honestly, my impatience, my trust. Not once has she tried to change me. She sees the better me, even when (especially when) I can't. She believes in me. She loves me. I would die for her.
My best buddy since 7th grade...and his family, probably literally saved my life.
Mike introduced me to good music...constantly. Still does to this day.
His parents took me in when “home” was a really toxic environment. They became my models of good parenting.
Conversely, I’m also thankful my dad kicked me out of the house the day I graduated high school and never gave me E36 M3 beyond that day. Everything I’ve ever owned or accomplished, I’ve worked my ass off for, and self-sufficiency is a good feeling.
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