What (loud, cheap, fast, nasty, RWD) Car?

I've got practical covered. I've got good MPG. I've got something presentable to the general public. But I'm not having enough damn fun these days.

I need something to piss off the neighbors, scare children and make old folks quake like the Reaper is closing in on their back bumper. Something that looks like the black horse of the apocalypse as it emerges from a cloud of tire smoke - blasting rock music, of course. Lowered, spray bombed flat black, no mufflers, hell maybe no front bumper (see below)... The sort of thing that's simultaneously repellant, intriguing, awe-inspiring and fear-inducing. The sort of thing in which you wouldn't be surprised to find beer cans and underwear in the passenger footwell. The sort of thing that passersby would be afraid to touch out of fear of communicable disease and the sheer evil it exudes. The sort of car that looks like it belongs to Satan's delinquent nephew.

It's gotta be (in order) cheap, fast, American, nasty, and loud. I hope RWD and V8 power go without saying. I'm open to anything '50s-'70s. Initial thoughts lean toward a traditional two-door fastback, and malaise-era (de-smogged and hopped-up, of course) lumbering muscle for the full effect, but I'm open to other suggestions. I have no particular brand loyalty. Let's put a $4000 purchase cap on this little thought experiment.

Inspiration:

Do your worst, weirdos.

Been thinking of doing something liek this as well. Look forward to any ideas.

I have been looking at cheap falcons lately but not big enough. If I could find a cheap Fury maybe.

If you want truly repellent, look for a later AMC Javelin. The mid-70s one with the rediculous fender flair things. What an ugly car... should about fit the bill after a few cans of spraypaint and a few minutes with a hacksaw (assuming the muflers haven't alreay rusted off).

You should have bought that 944 that angrycorvair was selling on ebay. Just under $2000 with a loud Chevrolet engine to annoy the neighbors.

You would have a spare $2000 to soften up the interior a bit and to woo the ladies and that underpants thing....

angrycorvair 944

What you need is a BIG two door caddy... I would not do side pipes, but open exhausts out the rear to let that big V8 rumble. Gut out all the electronic doodads, semi-gut the interior... and have LOTS of fun. There is just something SO wrong and SO right about a clapped out luxury barge

pete240z wrote: You should have bought that 944 that angrycorvair was selling on ebay. Just under $2000 with a loud Chevrolet engine to annoy the neighbors. You would have a spare $2000 to soften up the interior a bit and to woo the ladies and that underpants thing.... angrycorvair 944

Sumbitch. Did that thing sell?

Anyway, I gotta fix and sell my redundant 'practical' car before the hoonage can commence. Just gathering ideas at the moment.

mad_machine wrote: What you need is a BIG two door caddy... I would not do side pipes, but open exhausts out the rear to let that big V8 rumble. Gut out all the electronic doodads, semi-gut the interior... and have LOTS of fun. There is just something SO wrong and SO right about a clapped out luxury barge

I like the way you're thinking. That 472 should at least have enough grunt to light up the tires, and the noise - not to mention the floaty suspension - would help with the illusion of speed.

I can never remember: what was the last year for the RWD barges?

Well...

I don't have reliable or presentable covered yet...and I'm still not having enough fun so I'm thinking along the same lines.

Your year range takes my top contender out of the list: A '78-up Gbody. An olds 455 will drop in place of the olds 260 just like that. Think of the torque...and the exhaust note!

Really though, for full cheap effect, I think you'll be looking at something a small block chevy will bolt into without expensive custom headers and such. At least that's what it always comes down to for me. [edit: that is IF you would be planning to spend money on building an engine for this project. If you're thinking "stick in a junkyard bigblock and drive it like you stole it...all bets are off! and I love it!]

Though ford engines aren't that much more espensive I guess.

Old Pony cars are easy...but there's a fine line between scary/repellent and too-valuable-to-hack-up, I suppose.

Here's my winner pick that actually meets (I think) your criteria: A '60-66 or '67-'72 GM shortbed truck.

No bells and whistles, Nextel cup suspension, throw any engine you want in it, old enough to be cool, new enough to put disc brakes on it, etc, etc...

Clem

Personally, I think a late '70s Camaro fits that list of requirements very well - consider everyone's reaction to Bumblebee when he first appeared. Less mainstream possibilities that would definitely fit the malaise-era look and could be bought cheap if you could find one would include a Ford Torinno, Dodge Mirada, or 2-door Aspen / Volare.

P71 and a SawZall.

Funny, recently I was thinking just the same thing. found some local Z28s (second gen only) and a few Dusters 340s.

I am on the look out for a duster, but I would still rock a a Camaro or AMX, Javaline, well anything from the KMuscle car era. "Love the Beast" stired from the depth of my bowels my White Trash Upbrinning and haning out a the Rockford Speedway.

'77-79 Olds Cutlass Salon Aerodeck. Slimmed down, slicked-back, and you can build a 455/425 engine to get to 503 cubic inches.

I had a primer 81 Camaro that worked nicely for that... an el-camino would work very well. Don't be afraid of rust - it will add to this particular image.

I'd say el-camino first, followed by pretty much any large two door big engined car - go looking, whatever you find is perfect - the body isn't as important as the exhaust (or lack thereof), the engine, the mismatched tires, missing bumpers, the primer etc...

Camaro or Chevelle.

Wagon http://chambana.craigslist.org/cto/1539962192.html

Camaro, just over the price range http://chambana.craigslist.org/cto/1529963846.html

Pick up http://chambana.craigslist.org/cto/1531294079.html

4x4 that technically fits your criteria http://chambana.craigslist.org/cto/1516695742.html

slefain wrote: P71 and a SawZall.

blacked out, maybe a wider set of steelies, and your set

Late 60's Dodges would be the best for frightening small children and sending old ladies to their giant 911 buttons.

Or a 55 Chevy gasser. About pegs the kickass-o-meter.

I ran my 68 LeSabre without a front bumper for a summer. That sucker parted traffic like a rocket-powered bulldozer.

You might also consider mid seventies pickups. I'm dying to do something like this: http://www.hotrod.com/techarticles/general/hrdp_0907_1974_chevy_c10_build/photo_07.html

Build this.

C4 vette.

Straight pipes(already has "shorty headers" stock) cat delete/upgrade= loud. Add mild cam for more noise. plus you pick up some power with that obnoxious sound.

Cosmetically poor cars go cheap because they cost so much to fix up pretty. If you don't care how it looks your golden. Don't forget, fiberglass body+galvanized frame+sbc= pretty reliable in the important parts. electronics will be a wash, but hey, who needs them?

Leaky windows/no roof, I would drill a hole or two in the floor, get some vinyl seat covers, loose the digi dash put in a few autometers and drop a carb+mani on the 350. No wires to worry about.

If you get a stick car (why wouldn't you?) you get a d44 out back with a LSD.

If you run something like 255 width tires or slightly narrower you will be able to light them up at will with a relatively stock motor.

Plus you can piss off the 'vette purists

Oohhh I found this: 75 T-bird Nothing show gross like a white interior in a flat black car (if you'd paint it). The 460 should sound nice too.

okay, the 55 chevy gasser car is pure gold

as is the C4 idea - beautiful...

Search for 70's era Cadillacs. Some are real trailer queens that are show-worthy, but the rest are ratted out hulks that should fit the bill. Imagine a 2-door that is 72 feet long, has no top, and an 8-liter motor with straight pipes!

Caddy

Flat black spray paint. Skull decals.

Early 60's Dodges look mean as hell, but they can command some $$. There's something about a Dodge, though, ANY dodge until about '79 or so, that just says "different". Hell, even an ex-cop Diplomat from the 80's could do the trick. But a 440-powered NYer or Imperial or Newport...maybe a wagon. Lowered slightly on black steelies with straight pipes out the back. There's your ticket.

Start with this:

http://portland.craigslist.org/clc/cto/1539041441.html

Paint flat black, add flames oh and fix the transmission. Add nitrous until breakage, repair and drop back a step in nitrous jetting.

I once had a primer grey '71 Satelite that was in slightly nicer shape than this one, with a black vinyl bench seat and black steelies. I understand exactly what you are shooting for here.

Fodder