Wow, your workplace sounds like it is completely out of control. You are certainly being harrassed and you shouldn't be subjected to that. If it were an isolated incident, I would agree to document your concerns with HR, but something as systemic and toxic as you describe seems to be another matter. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation, but I would probably do what most people would do: quietly look for another job and get out before the excrement hits the fan.
The OP hasn't said, but I'm pretty sure I know where he works.
Tell everyone at work that you're homosexual? Worked for Jack in Three's Company.
In reply to Stampie :
I'm not sure about that. I think the other 19 guys who work here might actually be gay- that might not end well for me! Lol!!
SVreX said:In reply to Stampie :
I'm not sure about that. I think the other 19 guys who work here might actually be gay- that might not end well for me! Lol!!
Either that, or they were all thinking the same idea as Stampie.
That does remind me of one of my incidents. At one job I had a female that wasn't technically above me but was part of management hit on me. I wasn't interested so I told her that I was into autoerotica in vinyl but that I appreciated the offer. YMMV.
Stampie said:Tell everyone at work that you're homosexual? Worked for Jack in Three's Company.
This can backfire, some really do view it as a challenge.
This workplace seems more and more bizarre with each post.
First, we have a woman who sounds like she's got a few emotional issues and some questionable ideas about professional boundaries. And happens to be best friends with the sole HR person. OK, that can happen in a lots of small to medium companies.
Then it appears that all the women who work there are barely restrained nymphomaniacs.
And 95% of the men who work there appear to be gay.
You don't work at a Fuzzy Navel bottling factory by any chance, do you?
I'm actually starting to wonder if they've let some of the women's behavior get so far out of hand that the the only men who can stand to remain there are either gay or pretending to be, unless the place has done a lot of recruiting in the gay community or there's some other factor at work here. I'm thinking Marge may be on to something that if HR won't step in to fix things, her boss needs to know she isn't fixing things.
It's a medical facility. Cancer treatment. Quarter of a billion in revenues annually.
Honestly, my experience in small companies has been better regarding issues like this. I understand the potential for abuse in a small company, but the reverse is also true. When there is an issue, a dictatorial authority figure can issue an edict and let the hammer fall, without much concern for process.
There are benevolent authoritarian owners in small companies too.
Stampie said:Tell everyone at work that you're homosexual?
Doesn't work, the girl with the mustache wanted to convert me.
914Driver said:Stampie said:Tell everyone at work that you're homosexual?
Doesn't work, the girl with the mustache wanted to convert me.
Are you sure?
You already documented it here. Just keep your distance and avoid being alone with her
SVreX said:It's a medical facility. Cancer treatment. Quarter of a billion in revenues annually.
Honestly, my experience in small companies has been better regarding issues like this. I understand the potential for abuse in a small company, but the reverse is also true. When there is an issue, a dictatorial authority figure can issue an edict and let the hammer fall, without much concern for process.
There are benevolent authoritarian owners in small companies too.
The Wife- Unit is an ICU nurse at a large hospital. The stuff I hear! Male nurse might be right up there with male flight attendant for the most potentially salacious of career choices. The weird thing is that a lot of people love the game right up to the point when they don't; then it gets weird.
A good friend of mine was an anesthetist. The stories he used to tell about the doctors and the nurses were hilarious. I have always said I would never marry another teacher. I’m looking for a nurse.
Careful! I once had a young lady that was vying for my attention and I, being in a good relationship and realizing the problems and not being attracted to her, soundly rebuffed her on several occasions. Made sure there were no shifts where we were the only ones in the store, avoided too much closeness and remained professional.
However, she would try to hug me when she saw a coworker watching and once saw the supervisor so she ran to my office and jumped in my lap so we would be caught in the act. Happily we had video and when she filed her harassment complaint I was able to shoot her down rather quickly. BUT, for the rest of my time with this company, every review or promotion opportunity had "So I see a harassment complaint" as part of the conversation.
Bruce
Robbie said:Here's the main point: You HAVE to give everyone the same benefit of the doubt until you know better*. You can be wrongly accused of stealing another contractors tools just like you can be wrongly accused of sexual assault or murder or colluding with the mob. But you probably feel confident that if you don't actually steal tools, you won't be wrongly accused (and if you are, you will shortly be found not guilty), while you sound like you don't feel the same confidence about sexual harassment - which is probably not your fault, but is the result of a lot of BS from a lot of angles, and definitely IS NOT FAIR to the women you work with.
There is a big difference between accusing someone of sexual harassment/assault and documenting an incident. He can speak to HR that he is not seeking an action. He can state that he suspects the particular incident/individual he is concerned about he does not think is actually trying to do anything malicious (even if he believes it). But he can still create a document trail of incidents, what happened in those, and that this made him feel uncomfortable. That gives him protection in the event (however likely or unlikely) that this woman makes a claim against him. It also establishes history of a pattern if she does happen to do something that truly crosses the line, that can't be dismissed as a "one time thing".
He doesn't have to say, "she sexually harassed me". Just "she hugged me in a janitor's closet without me permission. It made me uncomfortable. I asked her not to do that again." He doesn't have to ask that HR take any action. Just that HR keep an official record.
SVreX, situation resolved or a work in progress?
As a kid I was constantly warned about the dangers of being kid napped. Even though I often wandered off and got lost I was never abducted or molested. Now I seem to be the only person that was never harassed at work. I’m beginning to think it’s me.
759NRNG said:SVreX, situation resolved or a work in progress?
Definitely not resolved. Ongoing.
But I do appreciate all of you helping me figure it out.
There's no question it's a cultural adjustment for me. There is a lot of touchy feely around here that I have never seen before in my work environment.
Its amazing how stupid it feels for a guy to even consider claiming sexual harrassment.
In reply to SVreX :
Document, lay low, give it 2 years, file your own lawsuit on individual and systemic incidents of harassment, retire to the beach with big bucks from the settlement. Buy FM LS3 powered miata.
Yeah....that's a plan.
In reply to SVreX :
Maybe they are just friendly people.
Everybody's friendly till they aren't.
Ovid_and_Flem said:In reply to SVreX :
Document, lay low, give it 2 years, file your own lawsuit on individual and systemic incidents of harassment, retire to the beach with big bucks from the settlement. Buy FM LS3 powered miata.
Yeah....that's a plan.
Haha! That's pretty good!
CTCA is already run in a morally ambiguous manner. Not sure I would expect their HR department to stand behind claims from employees of either sex. I suspect HR is looking to fix the glitch in the manner easiest for the company.
In reply to mattm :
Perhaps reconsider naming specific companies for right now - if you've happened to name the offending company correctly we don't want to hasten fixing the glitch for our OP here.
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