What's the appropriate response?

Admittedly, I don't have a lot of experience in this area. But doesn't each school system have a certain school for "problem" students?

Maybe that's the kind of environment this kid needs for a bit until he learns acceptable behavior.

my first thought when i read this was of course this kid and maybe his parents need a bean town beat down.. but i guess the first real question is were is this young man learning this behavior...

mndsm wrote: I can guarantee he's not just deciding to be mean to your daughter, he's learning it somewhere.

I suspect this is the case...kids that young don't normally think up that sort of thing on their own, they learn it from someone older. I saw it happen to a young relative many years ago.

I wonder if he's there because he's been booted from elsewhere?

My wife wants to walk in there demanding the expulsion of the kid. I don’t know if that’s appropriate.

That's totally inappropriate, and you already know that. Concern yourself with your own children, and let the school do their job. They're 7 year old kids. These kinds of things happen. Don't blow it out of proportion. Your wife has probably over reacted, and scared the E36 M3 out your daughter already. I would be concerned about that.

4eyes wrote: Don't waste time with the school, they are in cover my ass, and ignore it and hope it goes away mode. Call the COPS, report the assault. DHS needs to be involved for the boys sake. And it's my belief that everyone should know how to defend themselves, male and female.

I like this answer. If you're not comfortable with doing it yet, schedule the one-on-one with the principal and explain that this will become a cop/DHS matter if your daughter feels threatened again.

4eyes wrote: Don't waste time with the school, they are in cover my ass, and ignore it and hope it goes away mode. Call the COPS, report the assault. DHS needs to be involved for the boys sake. And it's my belief that everyone should know how to defend themselves, male and female.

Put me in this camp. In fact, call the police and have them meet you at the school to discuss this problem with the DOS. The LAST thing the school needs is bad publicity and I agree the boy is learning that behavior from somewhere. Needs to be nipped in the bud.

Zomby woof wrote:

My wife wants to walk in there demanding the expulsion of the kid. I don’t know if that’s appropriate.

That's totally inappropriate, and you already know that. Concern yourself with your own children, and let the school do their job. They're 7 year old kids. These kinds of things happen. Don't blow it out of proportion. Your wife has probably over reacted, and scared the E36 M3 out your daughter already. I would be concerned about that.

Not to mention the boy's parents may be loaded, in which case the school isn't going to do jack to disrupt the money flow. My wife worked at the most $$$$$ private school in Atlanta. You wouldn't believe the crap that went on. I'm talking some of these kids were seriously messed up and emotionally detached. Try to punish their little monster and the parents swoop in like SWAT members to defend their little bastard. The school backs down, the victim is told to "forget about it" and the tuition money still flows in. My wife has stories that will curl your hair.

Talk to the parents of the boy (if you can). I'd be ticked in your case, but the school will only do so much.

Call the cops, and you'll not only piss them off, but get your daughter kicked out of school shortly thereafter. The cops don't like being used as pawns, and the school won't like to be threatened.

tuna55 wrote: I would teach them how to punch.

My 8 year old daughter practices her punches into my arm and plays wii boxing. I have taught her not to fight but to also not become somebodies punching bag either.

Sad for your little lady........

Zomby woof wrote: Call the cops, and you'll not only piss them off, but get your daughter kicked out of school shortly thereafter. The cops don't like being used as pawns, and the school won't like to be threatened.

How is reporting a crime using a cop as a pawn, I was a cop for 16 years and a Detective for 8 and in my limited experience that was my job.

Cops don't care, (or shouldn't care) what the schools opinion is, if it is a crime and the parents wish to proceed with charges they will do their job.

Zomby woof wrote: That's totally inappropriate, and you already know that. Concern yourself with your own children, and let the school do their job. They're 7 year old kids. These kinds of things happen.

While on one hand, there are certain things that can be told away by that, specifically going after THAT area in grade 1? That's weird anyway you slice it.

How about this (mental exercise, also weird);

When I was in grade 1 (maybe 2?) for some reason one day I pulled down the pants (I believe sweat pants style, it was a LONG time ago) of a girl who was always a bitch to me. The class was walking somewhere in the school together (single file) and she was in front of me. The rest of my memory is vague on the subject (besides feeling like an idiot instantly), and I can only imagine my desire to embarrass her was the reason I did it. Did I regret it? From what I remember, yes, I realized it was the wrong thing to do instantly. But I still had done it.

Should I/my parents/the school have been charged for sexual assault? Assault? Should I have been expelled?

aussiesmg wrote: How is reporting a crime using a cop as a pawn, I was a cop for 16 years and a Detective for 8 and in my limited experience that was my job. Cops don't care, (or shouldn't care) what the schools opinion is, if it is a crime and the parents wish to proceed with charges they will do their job.

Maybe there's a reason why you're no longer a cop.

slefain wrote:

Zomby woof wrote: That's totally inappropriate, and you already know that. Concern yourself with your own children, and let the school do their job. They're 7 year old kids. These kinds of things happen. Don't blow it out of proportion. Your wife has probably over reacted, and scared the E36 M3 out your daughter already. I would be concerned about that.

Not to mention the boy's parents may be loaded, in which case the school isn't going to do jack to disrupt the money flow. My wife worked at the most $$$$$ private school in Atlanta. You wouldn't believe the crap that went on. I'm talking some of these kids were seriously messed up and emotionally detached. Try to punish their little monster and the parents swoop in like SWAT members to defend their little bastard. The school backs down, the victim is told to "forget about it" and the tuition money still flows in. My wife has stories that will curl your hair. Talk to the parents of the boy (if you can). I'd be ticked in your case, but the school will only do so much.

I will be the first to admit that my wife can over react to things, as can I. I also know that one things most folks are quick to jump the gun about is concerning their kids. That's why I didn't go off half-cocked the first time. But, this is at least the second time he's been physically and/or sexually aggressive to my daughter. Now, we're aren't talking "show me yours and I'll show you mine" here. We are talking bullying someone and taking advantage of them sexually. Yes they are only 7 years old, that's what makes it soo disturbing. there's a pattern here. This kid has had large enough issues with enough other kids that they are having a hard time placing him in a class next year because he needs to be separated from enough of the student body. His actions have made my daughter, and the students that witnessed the latest event "uncomfortable" according to the teacher. So, just how long would you sit on your hands and assume the school is doing enough to protect your kids? Kids are a gift from God and I intend to take the best care possible of them at all costs.
Now, that being said. I'm not going to go in there demanding expulsion, but I'm not going to say "Hey guys, this isn't cool, handle it ok?" I'm going to make sure that we are going to see this incident to it's resolve. There needs to be disciplinary action here for more than one reason.
First, this kid NEEDS to KNOW it's not ok for him to enforce his will, desires and proclivities on others, ever.
He needs to know, society does not stand for such behavior.
My daughter needs to know (these next few points are up to me as much as the school to some extent) that her teachers are there for her and will protect her.
She needs to know mommy and daddy have her back and will protect her.
She needs to know that she does not have to stand for this type of behavior nor is should she.

I don't want to sound sensationalist here, but I don't want this to start a pattern of abuse. It starts with a innocent little boy who bends her to his will. This could go on from 1st grade through 8th, couldn't it? Then it just goes on from there. This needs to be nipped in the bud right now.
Oh, and this isn't a private school. It's a public school so they are paid for butts in seats.

HiTempguy wrote: When I was in grade 1 (maybe 2?) for some reason one day I pulled down the pants (I believe sweat pants style, it was a LONG time ago) of a girl who was always a bitch to me. The class was walking somewhere in the school together (single file) and she was in front of me. The rest of my memory is vague on the subject (besides feeling like an idiot instantly), and I can only imagine my desire to embarrass her was the reason I did it. Did I regret it? From what I remember, yes, I realized it was the wrong thing to do instantly. But I still had done it. Should I/my parents/the school have been charged for sexual assault? Assault? Should I have been expelled?

Well, pulling the pants down out of revenge is one thing. TOUCHING a girl on her vagina against her will, then later pinning her against a wall (nothing happened because a teacher saw it) are two VERY different things.
Do you have kids? Can you honestly say you'd let this go?

Zomby woof wrote:

aussiesmg wrote: How is reporting a crime using a cop as a pawn, I was a cop for 16 years and a Detective for 8 and in my limited experience that was my job. Cops don't care, (or shouldn't care) what the schools opinion is, if it is a crime and the parents wish to proceed with charges they will do their job.

Maybe there's a reason why you're no longer a cop.

Now you are making statements about my credibility and integrity because I don't agree with you, this is a very stupid thing to do.

You know NOTHING about me, you have crossed the line making such an accusation.

The stupid thing is you are saying I'm no longer a cop because I was diligent.

By the way, what do you base your profound knowledge of the law upon?

All the little Chester needs to do is tape letters to the wall asking a girl to prom and they will punish him! But assault a little girl... Hey, kids will be kids, right?

Little basterds learning it somewhere is right! Call child protective services. If you want me to I will. I'm the next town over...

Joey

joey48442 wrote: All the little Chester needs to do is tape letters to the wall asking a girl to prom and they will punish him! But assault a little girl... Hey, kids will be kids, right? Little basterds learning it somewhere is right! Call child protective services. If you want me to I will. I'm the next town over... Joey

quoted for truth

DrBoost wrote: Well, pulling the pants down out of revenge is one thing. TOUCHING a girl on her vagina against her will, then later pinning her against a wall (nothing happened because a teacher saw it) are two VERY different things. Do you have kids? Can you honestly say you'd let this go?

I never said let it go, I simply said where do you draw the line? I firmly believe that it sounds like the kid knew what he was doing, and in that case, move forward with the punishment! At the age of ~7, a child should know that that is not appropriate.

Zomby woof wrote:

aussiesmg wrote: How is reporting a crime using a cop as a pawn, I was a cop for 16 years and a Detective for 8 and in my limited experience that was my job. Cops don't care, (or shouldn't care) what the schools opinion is, if it is a crime and the parents wish to proceed with charges they will do their job.

Maybe there's a reason why you're no longer a cop.

and that right there is why 90% of the time i think ZW is a berkeleying douchebag.

I'm surprised. I thought we got along well at the challenge, especially when I was under your car, helping you set it up.

Was that a jab? Maybe, but he took it WAY more personally than it was intended, and there's more to it than you know, trust me.

I stand by what I said about using the cops as pawns, and it was based on this

Put me in this camp. In fact, call the police and have them meet you at the school to discuss this problem with the DOS. The LAST thing the school needs is bad publicity

FWIW, we went through a situation with our eldest son in kindergarten. Sure, he's not a girl, but considering the circumstances, I don't know that it's significant. It went on as long, but there were far more incidents, and more severe. We reacted, and in the end realized that we probably (definitely) overreacted. They are kids, and the whole thing blew over. In fact, they became good friends later. The kid came from a solid home, and we got to know the parents well. It's sometimes easy to read into things that aren't there, and get carried away. 2 minor incidents in a few months is not a reason to overreact.

AC, sorry you feel that way. I'm not an shiny happy person, but I speak my mind. I always have. Sometimes it doesn't always come across well in print.

Zomby woof wrote: </cite...minor incidents...

Touching a girl's private parts is FAR from minor.

Maybe now.

Not when you're both 7

I don't see how age justifies sexually assaulting someone. I don't see how it can be called minor. I'm not a father, and hope not to be for some years, but I can honestly say that I would have demanded expulsion after the first incident.

I wouldn't stand to have my daughter in that position, and if that boy is going to continue his schooling there, my child wouldn't.

Zomby woof wrote: Maybe now. Not when you're both 7

Disagree here. Even at 7, touching a girls privates is strictly verboten. Even if we don't call it "sexual assault," it's still at the very mildest "unacceptable," and 7 year olds get that. I have a friend with a four year old autistic son who has already gone through the "no, you cannot touch mommy or any girl there" with her kid at least a year ago, and that was late simply because he is autistic.

Pulling pigtails is one thing; unwanted touching of privates and pinning against the wall for intimidation purposes is another. As others have pointed out, this kid has learned this behavior somewhere. While you may not feel right asking for expulsion, you should feel very right asking the school guidance counselor or another authority to talk to the kid, make it clear that what he's done is unacceptable and apologize to your daughter (written or verbal) for it.

I don't know about private schools, but my public schools growing up had a police office stationed within the school as a community service. It's possible you can contact the police or child protective services and ask for guidance in what options are available to you for mediation and resolution, with the idea that you want to help a troubled child as well ask keep your daughter safe.