When do you put an old dog down?

"Rufus" is latin for "Red-head". His mom was a red Cocker Spaniel, dad was apparently the golden retriever who lived next door to her, although they didn't catch him. His mom was a breed bitch., and when she got preggers without another papered cocker around, the people knew they would be just giving the pups away. 5 weeks after he was born, we moved from Eastern Ohio to a little town of 200 in the north-west part of Kansas. Two weeks after we moved into this old house that had an abandoned chicken coop out back, a neighbor offered to loan me his old roto-tiller so I could put a garden in where the old chicken pen had been. He warned me that the rabbit population could decimate a garden in almost no time, so we headed into the nearest "real" town (~2500 pop.) to get some chicken wire and posts to keep the rabbits out. In front of the Big R was a horse trough, with a sign that said, "FREE!" Sandy looked at me, and I sighed and said, "If you're gonna, you're gonna. Go ahead." That was sixteen years ago. He has been our faithful companion through three moves, and more stress than I want to remember. He was my mom's comforter for those last few months she lived with us, dying of leukemia. He's put up with adopted stray cats that turned out to be spawns of Satan. He's chased rabbits, and guarded the foot of our bed. Now....

Two years ago he had a major stroke, and we thought it was over. He came back from it, lacking only a little memory and coordination. However, there have been two more major ones since then, and countless minor ones. The cataracts are so thick I don't think he sees anything more than light and dark. He's deaf, and has lost almost all real memory of where he is. He gets lost and confused. After the last stroke my son and I decided we had better get the grave dug, because here in SW Kansas the ground is so dry and hard we knew it was going to take a while. But he came out of that one, and there we were with a hole. We covered it with a 1/2 sheet of plywood, because we knew it was only a matter of time. The other night I was reading a bedtime story to the granddaughters, and he wandered in. When the 6 year old imperiously told him, "Get out!" he turned and walked into the closet, and when he got to the back wall through the clothes, he just stood there and shook.

But today... Our son came over this morning, and when he got here he was met by Barnabas, our almost-two year old shepherd mix. (We got Barnabas shortly after Rufus' second stroke. My wife said it was so that when Rufus was gone, I wouldn't be lost without a dog. But I know a secret. It's because she has become so attached to Rufus she isn't sure she will be able to get along without another dog to cry with. Couple of old softies, aren't we?) Barnabas is a happy dog, who just wants to play...at full speed. So when Jon walked through the door, Barnabas was there. Rufus was behind him, looking thoroughly baffled about what was going on, and when Barnabas turned to run to the back door (Jon's "job" is understood to be "frisbee thrower") Rufus also turned, and Barnabas ran over him. Rufus' eyes rolled to the back of his head, he lost bladder control, and Jon was sure he died right there. No, he struggled to his feet after a long minute of complete stillness. But he's lost bladder control two more times today, and that was one thing that was engraved on his brain. Up until now, the one thing he never forgot to do was bark and be put outside before he peed. But now, he's almost in a constant state of agitation, walking to the dog food dish, but not eating, walking to the kitchen, and after a second, walking into another room, just to look confused and go somewhere else. Every time he moves, we worry about where he's going to forget where he is and pee again. He seems absolutely miserable. He can't see, or hear, or even seem to know we're here. And he's been my second-best friend for 16 years. When menopause struck, my only friend. And I don't know if it's time. We have a vet who's a wonderful dog person. We talked last year. He knows that I know Rufus is just a dog. He knows that I know that there will be a time to put Rufus down, because it's the humane thing to do. But how do you know when it's that time?

I think you know, you just don't want to admit it to yourself. This is probably the hardest decision you can ever make, and it is never an easy one, and rarely will it feel like the right one. Your family and Rufus are in my thoughts and prayers.

I'll admit, I didn't read your long post...........but the fact that you're asking, means you know the answer.

And for that, I feel for you.

I had to make that decision twice in the same year, its never easy. I think you are of the right mind set, its about quality of life, when they no longer have and you are keeping them going for you not for them it's time.

My first to go was my little buddy, 11 year old MinPin. He had been blind for about 4 years and adapted quite well then he started getting confused. Vet said it was a brain tumor and at his age he didnt recommend chemo (nor could I) finally one morning he just sat there howling in fear as he was a blind dog who suddenly had no idea who he was or where he was. He shook in fear for the next 24 hours until we took him to the vet.

Then there was my 12 year old Sheppard. We had honestly expected him to go long before the MinPin but he just hung in there. His back legs were giving out and we assumed it was hip displaysia but it turned out he had a degenerative spinal disease which would only get worse. But he was always happy and as active as he could be. Many days he just drug his legs around behind him. He lost bladder control as the disease progressed. But no matter what was going on he always drug himself up the stairs to go to bed with us. I always told him that when he was ready to go he could just stay downstairs and I'd know he had given up. Sure enough one day while my wife was out of town he came downstairs, dropped down in a spot and stayed there until the next morning when I carried him to the car and to the vet.

It hurts, we have 5 dogs now and they are all great but I still miss them. In the end though I know I did what was right by them.

I let them go naturally. You, of course, make your own choices. We don't put people down.

I had to put Maddie down last July, her kidneys failed. It's a hard, but humane thing to do...I loved her too much to see her suffer. Still miss her.

the symptoms you are talking about.. aggitation, moving around... classic signs the end is near. He knows he is dying and is looking for a place to do it

I know it's hard, but you have to think about how he feels. If he is ready to go, let him. `

Dr. Hess wrote: I let them go naturally. You, of course, make your own choices. We don't put people down.

I understand the feeling, but sometimes I think we need to be able to put people down as well...

Joey

after watching my grandmother lay in a hospital bed.. barely conscious, but in pain when she was... I begin to think that euthanasia is not such a bad thing

My parents got a mongrel pup in January of 1952. I was born the following May. During the summer of 1968 she started spitting up blood, so we took her to the vet and he suggested it was time to put her down. Dad and I are both mushballs, so we asked for an alternative. The vet gaves us some medicine to spoon feed her twice a day. She would sit patiently as we fed her this and held her muzzle ,waiting to be sure she swallowed. As soon as we let go she would shake her head and send the medicine flying. We gave up after a few days and simply waited for the end to come. Two years later we were at our cottage for the summer. Every night we would let her out to pee before we went to bed. One night she didn't come back. I found her floating in the lake the next morning. At the time I second guessed not having had the guts to put her down two years earlier.Now,I'd tell you that she enjoyed two more years of life. Yes, she was deaf, blind and arthritic, but she wasn't in a lot of pain and she clearly enjoyed laying in the sun on the porch, or laying beside my mother on the couch for those last two years. If you think Rufus is suffering due to anxiety, then do what you gotta do. If he's just got bladder problems and you don't mind cleaning up ,then let him live out his old age. There's no right answer in these situations. Wish I could help, I know it's not easy.

I am sorry you are in that position; it is never easy to lose a family member.

My uncle had a terminal illness, and was able to articulate his will to die and did so when he still had the strength and presence of mind to do so on his terms.

You have to make that decision for your dog.

My GF just put down her 11y-o Akita on Wednesday--she's still a wreck...but it was the right thing to do.

If you're asking when, ...when is now. Godspeed.

He's telling you it's time..

It's never easy, your post made my eyeballs sweat a little.

Shawn

Having just done this on 12/21, I know exactly where you are. In our case, it was frustrating because just when you'd think it was definitely time, she'd spring back for a day. Finally, she crashed, and it wasn't too difficult to do.

The tough part is taking your own desires out of the equation. Of course you want your pet to keep going. You don't want to put them down prematurely. But what you are describing certainly sounds (at that age) like it's time to ease the discomfort in a way they simply cannot.

I knew it was time when my girl went out to pee, and just couldn't. She could no longer stand unassisted. I will never forget the look on her face that said so sadly "Daddy, I can't".

I wish you strength in your decision making process. It was eased greatly for me by being able to spend a few hours holding and petting my loyal companion of 12 years. We both knew, and we connected on a beautiful, if sad, level. I have no regrets.

Thanks, guys. You've helped a lot. We're gonna see how the next week goes, and Thursday when the granddaughters go to "Daddy's house" (he works on the road 4 days a week, so they have two "homes") my wife and I will probably take him to our vet. If you're wondering, the nearest vets are 45 miles away and we're willing to deal with the housekeeping until then. Who knows? Maybe God in His mercy will make all this angst unnecessary. But thanks for listening, thanks for being here.

My heart goes out to you, it's a tough call. I had a pair of siamese cats, brothers, who lasted almost to their twenties. One developed kidney issues, despite all the care that medicine could provide, he was miserable and in pain. I held him while the vet put him down, it was devastating, but better than seeing him suffer. His brother developed liver trouble two years later. The vet showed me how to hydrate him daily, and with proper food he was doing okay. At nineteen years old, he was almost skeletal and had lost his meow... friends and family kept telling me to put him down. But he purred when I fed him (watered down soft food) and scratched my leg to be lifted into my lap while I worked. I don't think he wanted to go yet.He died peacefully in his sleep about six months later.

mad_machine wrote: the symptoms you are talking about.. aggitation, moving around... classic signs the end is near. He knows he is dying and is looking for a place to do it

I would tend to agree with this summation. Waiting until the right time to go to the vet seems a good choice, not to mention giving yourself a few days to see what is going on. I feel for you. I haven't had the chance or really the guts to get another dog of my own since my Golden went when I was 12. That was over 20 years ago. Your whole story really hit me harder than I expected. My hopes and prayers to you in this tough time.

Two dogs and two cats over the last three years. Ours tend to make it to about 16 years old, often on some sort of medicine the last year or two. It hurts every time but we keep restocking the zoo. They pleasure pets bring far outweighs the pain when they go.

Sorry to hear it, man. I've had to got through it too many times myself with my family's dogs, and I'm not looking forward to it with these first two my girlfriend and I have now.

In fact, my family just put down a dog we rescued 11 years ago - saved him from the middle of the interstate in TN after he'd been hit. He was obviously dumped in the woods as a puppy, as his ears were full of hundreds of ticks - his hips were crushed from being hit on the highway. I stopped traffic and my girlfriend scooped him up from the center line, then we hustled into Chattanooga to the only vet we could find open on a Saturday night. My folks paid for his vet care (including rebuilding his pelvis and removing one of his ball sockets) without a second thought - he was a fighter ever since then. Had 10 good years with my folks, then started a slow decline last year. Pancreatitis should have killed him but he fought through it; the liver cancer finally brought him down on Wednesday of this week. Our vet is just awesome, and made a housecall to administer the shot where he was comfortable and peaceful.

It's never an easy decision, but you know when it's right. Hang in there, man.

A couple of things:

when I was a small child, we got a black Cocker Spaniel from 2 little old ladies that were moving into an apartment that would not allow a dog. Duke did not live quite as long as your Rufus (he was killed by a neighbor's dog, a Great Dane trained for "security") and so I did not have the many episodes that you have been through.

The poor little guy does sound like he has doggie heaven in sight, even if he can barely make it out through his foggy cataracts. You gave him nearly as good a life as he could ever have had, and now you know, it's time to say good-bye.

I once had to put down 2 injured puppies that had been abandoned on the side of the road...just be sure you have plenty of support at the vet's office.

Sadly, it's time. God speed.

I was really hoping "old dog" was a euphamism for a car or some other soul-less thing in this instance. Very sorry man. We've had to do it more than twice in not as many years and I'm getting teared-up thinking about it. It is not fun. Get it over with so the healing can start.

alex wrote: Sorry to hear it, man. I've had to got through it too many times myself with my family's dogs, and I'm not looking forward to it with these first two my girlfriend and I have now. In fact, my family just put down a dog we rescued 11 years ago - saved him from the middle of the interstate in TN after he'd been hit. He was obviously dumped in the woods as a puppy, as his ears were full of hundreds of ticks - his hips were crushed from being hit on the highway. I stopped traffic and my girlfriend scooped him up from the center line, then we hustled into Chattanooga to the only vet we could find open on a Saturday night. My folks paid for his vet care (including rebuilding his pelvis and removing one of his ball sockets) without a second thought - he was a fighter ever since then. Had 10 good years with my folks, then started a slow decline last year. Pancreatitis should have killed him but he fought through it; the liver cancer finally brought him down on Wednesday of this week. Our vet is just awesome, and made a housecall to administer the shot where he was comfortable and peaceful. It's never an easy decision, but you know when it's right. Hang in there, man.

You sir, and your family, I would proudly hoist beer with.