Why do I care so much? (Ranting about car forums)

So, I know I shouldn't care what others think on the internet. I know car forums (with the exception of this one) are harsh, terrible, environments with a mix of knowledgeable, neophyte, enthusiast, and competitors. 
 

recently I've been correcting some misunderstandings on a forum. Do I feel it's my job? Yes. Because I don't see anyone else on there that possesses knowledge like the folks here. In fact, I seem to be the only guy on there with a background in racing, wrenching, and diagnostics. 
 

One member consistently brings up a particular, incorrect viewpoint and does so even at the point of thread derailment. Even though I have pointed out, on multiple occasions, with links with accuarate info. I've even linked this forum for answers that don't come from myself. at what point do I continue and at what point do I walk away. 
 

also, how do I stop caring? Therapy time from the most level headed, honest car forum I am a member of. 

You have to accept that there are some people who just won't listen to reason, no matter how many facts you throw at them.  Many forums have the ability to put a person on 'ignore', it can do wonders for your blood pressure.

Otherwise you end up like this guy.

You only have to live with them for a few minutes.

They have to live with themselves all day, every day.

Just be grateful.

There are plenty of people that will not admit they are wrong no matter what, it's usually a sign of very low self worth or self esteem.

On another forum there's a guy that will just constantly move the goal posts until he's technically right on a point that had nothing to do with the original point, it's annoying but I have constantly called him out on it. After awhile most people realize that one of you has fact to back it up and the other does not. I don't necessarily care but I do usually say something if it's dangerous or ridiculously stupid. Such as pulling tubes out an amp that is plugged in and doing some cleaning. Tube amps have scary voltage inside and shouldn't be messed with if you don't know what you are doing.

Remember though, arguing with stupid puts you on their turf, under their rules and they are very experienced about it, be better.

Also while car stuff can be bad, gun stuff is worse in this regard but both pale in comparison to construction, I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase " but I saw it on YouTube" or " I saw it on Pinterest"

That's how you get people that think oatmeal is a great aggregate for concrete.........

Whats worse is when a forum used to be so good, but all the knowledgeable people scattered and all thats left are the goobers, the unhelpful, the enthusiastic, and the trolls.

It's not your job unless you want it to be.

If someone wants to stick a butter knife into an electrical outlet, let 'em.

The 'ignore' feature has saved my sanity.

I get sucked into writing long responses to stupid posts on various topics. Then I stop and realize sending them will do no good. So I delete everything. If I've already posted, I delete the post. Repeat as often as necessary to break the habit of feeling like you need to respond to these posts.

One could argue that deleting these means I wasted all the time writing it. I'd argue that time is only valuable if the post would do any good. So my time is wasted no matter what. I'm just admitting to myself it's a waste of time. Writing the post is really only to prove to myself that I'm smarter than an idiot, and can come up with a cogent explanation. No one else is going to care.

I also figure it saves me time and stress pretty quickly. By deleting it, I don't have to worry that I'm going to get an idiotic response that I'll foolishly feel like I need to respond to.

The longer this practice goes, the more frequently I find myself composing a response in my head, or starting to write one down, and realizing what a waste of time it is.

Dale Carnegie was mandatory reading for management positions at one point in time. I strongly believe it needs to be brought back as mandatory reading. 

Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.

You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. And -

"A man convinced against his will 

"Is of the same opinion still."

Way back in my Doodlebug days, I had a boss who was like a stereotype Texan rancher type. Did not say a lot, but you learned to listen to him. He had a way of leading the conversation by always leading a discussion  (not argument) with a series of questions that you could not help but say "yes" to. Broadly speaking he would start with the  question "Would you agree that we have a common purpose here"  and then keep you going with a questions that used your own logic to keep answering "yes" until you inevitably ended up agreeing to do things his way. Yes there was the underlying reality that Billy was the BOSS, but he rarely forced that point, just led you to the water and let you drink. Drove me berkeleying nuts. 

Antihero (Forum Supporter) said:

That's how you get people that think oatmeal is a great aggregate for concrete.........

Errrrr, WHAT?

Oh, and what's even worse is car-specific groups on FB. There are some right old geniuses out there.

Vajingo said:

 I've even linked this forum for answers that don't come from myself. 

I never point this forum out to the argumentative a-holes. I'm afraid they will join, and before you know it we will have a forum full of gearheadmb's.

Some people just wont listen. A coworker once approached me and said he thought his trans was out on his ford super duty. After telling me his symptoms I said, "your trans is fine, you broke the shifter shaft that runs along the steering column, it happens a lot." The next day he told me had it towed to a tranny shop, and they were gonna rebuild it. I waited a few days and asked how it turned out. He said they rebuilt the trans but said it needed one more part. He wouldn't elaborate on what that one part was, but I know what it was. Not listening cost him about $1500 and he still feels like he was right and I was wrong. 

Never wrestle with a pig. You just get dirty and the pig enjoys it.

The worst thing you can do to a keyboard warrior is ignore them. Without someone on the other end, they have no reason to exist. I will state my opinion once. I will clarify if needed. Beyond that, for me to care what other people think, I have to care about them. As a general rule I don't, so I have no problem with letting them wallow in their version of reality as long as they let me wallow in mine. 

One thing I do keep in mind when someone posts something wrong or unsafe on the internet is that they may not listen, but somebody else in the future may see the thread when trying to find the solution to a similar situation. I'm just as much trying to help that guy as I am the original poster.

gearheadmb said:

One thing I do keep in mind when someone posts something wrong or unsafe on the internet is that they may not listen, but somebody else in the future may see the thread when trying to find the solution to a similar situation. I'm just as much trying to help that guy as I am the original poster.

While I lack the energy to do this anymore, I think this is valuable.  Its no so much trying to convince someone to change their opinion, its pointing out the correct information in a logical way that anyone else who witnesses the argument benefits.  With this I think its wise to take the Toyman approach though:  state it once, clarify if needed, but no more.

OP:  interesting that this forum is excepted from your list.  Its not uncommon to find misinformation here, opinions stated as fact, or false old sayings repeated by those who don't know better.  Its human nature.

In reply to ProDarwin :

It's true that we sometimes post things in error, but we generally all have a deep respect for the "Don't be a dick" rule. 
 

People get certain psychological rewards when they are convinced they are right. Even moreso when they are the only person bringing correct information to an environment. We all fall into it. 

The problem comes when that psychology meets a person who is unwilling to engage in critical thought considering alternative facts/data/viewpoints.  When stubbornness overwhelms learning.  Especially when they get emotions driving their narrative, they can be totally incapable of considering any narrative other than the one they bring. 

SVreX (Forum Supporter) said:

In reply to ProDarwin :

It's true that we sometimes post things in error, but we generally all have a deep respect for the "Don't be a dick" rule. 
 

 

Agreed. 

on a lot of the old Hyundai forums I used to make up really long winded and completely over the top "how to's". That lasted until I got banned because some moron actually followed one to a "T" and then whined that his car was more broken than before. and that was when I left those. 

BoxheadTim said:

Antihero (Forum Supporter) said:

That's how you get people that think oatmeal is a great aggregate for concrete.........

Errrrr, WHAT?

 

Oh, and what's even worse is car-specific groups on FB. There are some right old geniuses out there.

At one time someone on Pinterest or something mixed oatmeal with cement to make light concrete for countertops. I don't know why, maybe they thought cookies and concrete both started with c so they must be roughly the same. I had an ex-gf argue with me a lot with that and it's actually popped up a few more times.

The argument is that they did it and days after they did it, it was still working as a countertop. The thing is,with concrete if I do it right it's a generational product. You will use it, your kids will use it and your grandkids will use it, more if it's a foundation for a house even. A lot of arguments I have with people about what practice's to use in construction revolve around that and them not understanding it.

I'm not sure what oatmeal mixed with cement would do really, mold horribly for starters and be significantly weak too. It's a stupid idea all around since light concrete has been figured out and it works fine anyway.

gearheadmb said:

Vajingo said:

 I've even linked this forum for answers that don't come from myself. 

I never point this forum out to the argumentative a-holes. I'm afraid they will join, and before you know it we will have a forum full of gearheadmb's.

That will never happen here. They may join, but this place is ruthless with BS. Not in a mean, confrontational way, we just don't encourage it to the point of futility.  

Just remember,  some of those guys just want to watch your world burn.

This thread is super timely as I'm currently resisting the urge to continue posting in the "car loans are the devil" thread that resurfaced today.

dps214 said:

This thread is super timely as I'm currently resisting the urge to continue posting in the "car loans are the devil" thread that resurfaced today.

There is also the EV one that resurfaced