Workplace sayings

I thought this might stir up some funny E36 M3. "Make It Happen" was big in the 80's as was "Sidebar" from the OJ trial latest ones around here "That being said", last year it was "Circle back with so in so" & my favorite "I am living the dream",another from a couple of years ago "Are you tracking with me" and a current big one with the higher ups "Right", "Take that Offline" is the new "Sidebar", "Ping me".........

Around here, it's "drop the tools, step away from the vehicle".

Not a lot of corporate-speak.

"I'm not disagreeing with you..." which immediately precedes a them disagreeing with you.

We get some interesting ones around here:

'There was an uncontrolled thermal event...' = something blew up

'The pilot left the vehicle...' = pilot ejected

"Makes sense?"

When I worked at a a Honda dealership and a car smelled bad inside we'd say "It has a hum in it".

"Because you'll believe anything!" In reference to our competitors' marketing claims (and occasionally the ones from our marketing department.)

pinchvalve wrote: "I'm not disagreeing with you..." which immediately precedes a them disagreeing with you.

I hear what you're saying...

Sales: This is unusable from a user's point of view.
Developer: Well, this is the way I'm doing it. They'll have to learn.
Sales: Simultaneous foreheads banging desks repeatedly

Maybe this should go under the rants thread...

"corporate efficiency programs" (e.g. people are getting laid off)

On the goofy side, one I always wanted to use:

"how about never, is never good for you?"

"Titties to your family!"

Story: It started out as just "titties". Because titties are really good, so "titties" meant "that's great". Big tax return? That's titties! Well, one day a guy announced that his wife was pregnant while people were hanging out in one guy's back yard tying one on. So one of the guys responds, "You're gonna have a family! That's titties. Titties to your family!" and it stuck.

CGLockRacer wrote: Sales: This is unusable from a user's point of view. Developer: Well, this is the way I'm doing it. They'll have to learn. Sales: *Simultaneous foreheads banging desks repeatedly* Maybe this should go under the rants thread...

Sales: we told the customer it would bring Jesus back. Let me know when that is ready and we can demo it with the customer.

Developers: Simultaneous foreheads banging desks repeatedly

It goes both ways. Both sides have to agree on what they are doing and why and be willing to listen to input from both sides. Otherwise you end up in another Dilbert strip and wishing you could be Wally instead.

In reply to CGLockRacer:

You forgot the bit where the developer mentioned that they implemented exactly what the sales team asked for .

"Be Here Now."

I mean... what in the berkeley does that E36 M3 even mean? I don't need a berkeleying plaque to remind me to be here now. If i can see the goddamn plaque, i'm berkeleyin' HERE.

A-hole.

In reply to BoxheadTim:

EDITED and extended version although what Turbo said is also true.

Sales: This isn't what the customer asked for.
Developer: This is what I'm doing.
Sales: Well, this is unusable from a user's point of view.
Developer: Well, this is the way I'm doing it. They'll have to learn.
Sales: Simultaneous foreheads banging desks repeatedly

'Take it to the next level'. WTF?

In reply to mtn:

Exactly

"Moving forward"

"The high level overview"

"A more granular look"

"Get your head in the game," usually said by me, to my son.

Our company recently rolled out the mantra "Progress, not perfection".

I E36 M3 you not.

And we do research and development. So the running gag for the past couple months is whenever the boss is unhappy, I just quote that little nugget of goodness. F*&k the higher ups with their heads in the clouds.

At my old job it was "that's what she said". Not super PC for a government office, but a fun place to work!

Automotive shop..

"Hit it with your purse!"

When the apprentice is using a pickle fork on a balljoint.

I used to work at a place where you could not call in sick, you could only call in dead and that required 48 hours notice.