slow wrote: "It is what it is." I have no clue what purpose that sentence serves.
to me that one is easier to understand than lots of the other ones …
usually said with a shrug of the shoulders … all it means is … that's the way it is .. nothing you can say or do is going to change it, so quit your complaining … it least that was the way it was around our work place
"That's a one off"
Any time we bring up a situation that occurs with a customer, no matter how many times it happens it is always a one off.
If I hear "Do you know what the definition of insanity is?" one more time at a meeting I'm gonna stick my store keys in the nearest electrical outlet.
When I have to poop at work I tell the guys "I've gotta go create an ASN".
wbjones wrote:slowride wrote: "we're not going to fire anyone at this time"we used to get that one quite often … it usually meant that a layoff was coming within the next 6 - 8 mo.
we didn't have layoffs - we "Aggressively Performance Managed" or "Rightsized"
Spoolpigeon wrote: If I hear "Do you know what the definition of insanity is?" one more time at a meeting I'm gonna stick my store keys in the nearest electrical outlet.
If I had to deal with that line too often, I'd reply with, "Atypical, disturbing, maladaptive, and unjustifiable."
We have a couple; When someone is dumbfounded by our maze of bureaucracy and requirements-"Welcome to the Rocket Ranch"; and when performing a job in which errors could result in millions of dollars in damage it is referred to as "Potentially career limiting".
Woody wrote:pinchvalve wrote: "I'm not disagreeing with you..." which immediately precedes a them disagreeing with you.I hear what you're saying...
Ahhhh! Like nails on a chalkboard. You apparently have been to my office.
MadScientistMatt wrote:Spoolpigeon wrote: If I hear "Do you know what the definition of insanity is?" one more time at a meeting I'm gonna stick my store keys in the nearest electrical outlet.If I had to deal with that line too often, I'd reply with, "Atypical, disturbing, maladaptive, and unjustifiable."
I'm going to practice that in front of a mirror. I hear this one far too much.
"At the end of the day..."
"It is what it is"
"Net-net"
Those are the ones that are peppered throughout every meeting I'm in every day of my life it seems. My group, however, has become a fan of using:
"We wind up looking like a monkey berkeleying a football out there"
I even went over to Kroger and bought a little Nerf football to put on my desk so I can join in on the fun.
Entropyman wrote: We have a couple; When someone is dumbfounded by our maze of bureaucracy and requirements-"Welcome to the Rocket Ranch"; and when performing a job in which errors could result in millions of dollars in damage it is referred to as "Potentially career limiting".
We've recently changed CLM/D or "Career Limiting Move/Decision" to REO or "Resume Enhancement Opportunity"
:)
We're in the middle of "strategic management planning" so I have a feeling we will get some like that soon.
Beagle wrote:wbjones wrote:we didn't have layoffs - we "Aggressively Performance Managed" or "Rightsized"slowride wrote: "we're not going to fire anyone at this time"we used to get that one quite often … it usually meant that a layoff was coming within the next 6 - 8 mo.
Spoolpigeon wrote: If I hear "Do you know what the definition of insanity is?" one more time at a meeting I'm gonna stick my store keys in the nearest electrical outlet.
When I hear that "definition", I respond with this:
"Definition of Stupidity: Thinking that one can do anything EXACTLY the same way twice."
Sometimes I even respond out loud.
Spoolpigeon wrote: When I have to poop at work I tell the guys "I've gotta go create an ASN".
I used to say, "I'm going to take a Hodge." (There was a guy in our group that was less than stellar at his job and even worse at playing nicely with others.)
Cheaters never perspire.
When faced with an odious task, like trying to cram an already crampifying supercharger into a small-nosed car that has additionally been in at least one frontal and rebuilt somewhat poorly: "If you got a frog to swaller, don't look at it too long." I think i got it from Forrest Gump. Means, it's only going to get harder the longer you stare at it with apprehension, so just jump in and start accomplishing things. (You'll get done eventually, and then the car will be gone, and then you'll feel good. Like when you stop hitting your head with a hammer)
"Circling the Drain" (possibly just an EMT thing...)
around here it's "no, that's OK. I'll do your berkeleying job for you."
"Not my pay grade" as in, take it off my desk, I'm not fixing that E36 M3 for you. (Mostly because I was well known as the guy that fixed E36 M3, but after a while refused to because it didn't do anything to modify my pay grade.)
Another one of my favorites "They need to come to Jesus" as in "They need to get their heads out of their asses and figure out what they're doing so we can get on with things" usually in reference to an idiot biller on the other end of my phone at my former employer. I got this one because I had an overly religious co-worker. We used to have come to jesus friday because I liked to argue theology with her, because I'm an shiny happy person and I do things like that.
This came from a software engineer I knew. He and his team were given a talking to from the sales/marketing about using positive language with customers. A couple of days later, major problem showed up at a customer site. He got note from his boss saying, "Please contact (the onsite project manager) ASAP. We have a significant learning opportunity."
A coworker and I decided recently that the real definition of a SMART goal, something that is "Seemingly Meaningless And Really Time-consuming". Now when crappy work assignments come up, we ask, "Is this one of our SMART goals?"
OK, you asked... it INFURIATES me when people say they want to "GROW" the business and "SERVICE" the customer. Oh, and a new one this week- The customer "shorted HIS self" @#$%&!(*^&^... That is all. Thanks for listening.
slantvaliant wrote:Spoolpigeon wrote: If I hear "Do you know what the definition of insanity is?" one more time at a meeting I'm gonna stick my store keys in the nearest electrical outlet.When I hear that "definition", I respond with this: "Definition of Stupidity: Thinking that one can do anything EXACTLY the same way twice." Sometimes I even respond out loud.
I don't quite understand. The saying "definition of insanity" is basically calling somebody a berkeleying retard nicely for being a complete idiot and not learning from their mistakes.
If you are hearing this too much, maybe something should change...
HiTempguy wrote:slantvaliant wrote:I don't quite understand. The saying "definition of insanity" is basically calling somebody a berkeleying retard nicely for being a complete idiot and not learning from their mistakes. If you are hearing this too much, maybe something should change...Spoolpigeon wrote: If I hear "Do you know what the definition of insanity is?" one more time at a meeting I'm gonna stick my store keys in the nearest electrical outlet.When I hear that "definition", I respond with this: "Definition of Stupidity: Thinking that one can do anything EXACTLY the same way twice." Sometimes I even respond out loud.
He manages a parts store. The something that should change would require a job field change i do believe. 
Swank Force One wrote: He manages a parts store. The something that should change would require a job field change i do believe.
Touche!
Our GM started calling the sales guys "sir" after asking them to do stuff. Example: can you put together your sales forecast? Yes. Okay, thank you, sir!
Then ALL the sales guys threw it around in a condescending way. Can you do that for me? Okay, thank you, sir!
It had that fake "sales guy" feel to it - even though I'm a sales guy too.
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