Wow, hiring someone really blows!

I'm a dentist.  I have an opening for a front desk employee now.  I posted the job on craigslist, Indeed and the local Facebook dental group.  It's a decent paying gig, good hours.

My description says that dental experience is necessary.  The vast majority of the resumes I'm getting are totally laughable.  It's a given that they have no dental experience.  Most have no experience at all. Spelling mistakes, live across the country from me, etc.

I'm not making this up, one persons resume, under "Education" they wrote "Some College".  Really?  Wow...

I was a GM for big company for 8 years, what I hated most, hiring people... people wanted certain hours, days they could work. And those who were trying to prove they’re trying to get a job to get their unemployment. Too many people want big money to do nothing. Oh I don’t miss that one bit at all!!

#1 sign of a strong economy

It took me from about 2003 to 2008 to replace a technician.  I hired three guys, two (both borderline mental cases- one with serious anger issues, the other would lie when the truth would be simpler) who quit, one I fired.  I am so very, very happy with the guy I hired.  If he leaves me, I will cry a long river of tears, so I make his life as happy as I can with money, gratitude and spare race car parts.

My boss agree's although our works not air conditioned and the starting pay is crap. My favorite are the people who suddenly forgot something at home when you ask them about a drug test. 

Be happy you are at least getting applicants.  Try being in the construction industry.  Haven't seen a fresh face on any of my jobs in years.  Just less and less of the same faces, and those faces are getting older.  Talked to a mom and pop mechanic shop last week that has been trying to hire someone for over a year.  4 lifts, one mechanic and a cat.

Unfortunately, this is not new.  Back at the dawn of time I was temporarily in charge of hiring.  Applicants had to fill out a government form that included a space for "Place of birth (City, Town, Village)".  One of our prospects thought about this for as long as it took, and then wrote "town."

During the Great Recession, I was in a hiring position at a company that was growing rapidly, in spite of the recession. 

I would often see 400 resumes for one position. 

It didn’t take long to weed through them. It would usually take less than 30 minutes to go through 400 resumes and weed them down to 2 or 3 applicants.  They were horrible.  But it made for a few good laughs.

My favorites were the ones that could not spell the position they were applying for.

Robbie said:

#1 sign of a strong economy

It’s been like this for about 10 years. Even during the recession hiring was super difficult.  You need x skill everyone has y.  I stopped hiring for specific experience a long time ago and now hire the smartest person with drive we walks through the door. Burnt our lawyer or person working at a bank?  I don’t care if you’re smart you’ll figure it out. 

They say that 5% of the population is unemployable. When the unemployment rate gets down under 3%, you're left with the bottom of the barrel. 

As a job shop machine shop, we use a temp agency, to fill our needs as work load ebbs and flows. About a month ago, we went through a dozen people in as many days, just to find someone that would show up or at least return the next day - assuming he even stayed his whole first day! 

In the consulting engineering world, it's not much better.  We've had a hell of time filling positions at our offices around the country.  Here at the PA office it's a little better as we have a fairly constant flow of co-ops from Drexel University (Philadelphia engineering college with a mandatory co-op program).  More than a few have turned into long time employees after graduation. We have a couple of co-ops in my dept (Electrical Design) right now that look very promising. 

A number of our clients require drug testing for contractors to work on the site, and after a few embarrassments, we now drug test all applicants.  With cannabis becoming more widespread and accepted on a legal basis, this will be a situation that needs to be addressed. Currently, any THC detected will result in failure.

My mechanic currently has one guy working with him after another who had been with him for years retired rather suddenly and moved to Florida.  I'm slowly getting accustomed to the "new guy" (although he's actually worked there for a couple of years). I'm almost certain he would hire another tech if he could. 

I once hired a guy with a lazy eye and an ankle bracelet two days after he made parole. Because he was the best applicant for a violent offender group home. 

Another time i hired a guy with a long list of acid related charges and convictions to work as a one on one guy with a client that had continual hallucinations and delusions.

Two of the best hires i ever made.

Sometimes you have to forget the box exists, let alone think outside of it.

I've been looking for months with zero luck. Charleston unemployment is in the 2-3% rate. Anyone without a job is either drunk, stoned, or just doesn't want to work. I've had two kids tell me the job is too hard. 

Even the temp agencies in the area aren't any help. They don't have anyone to send me.  

tr8todd said:

Be happy you are at least getting applicants.  Try being in the construction industry.  Haven't seen a fresh face on any of my jobs in years.  Just less and less of the same faces, and those faces are getting older.  Talked to a mom and pop mechanic shop last week that has been trying to hire someone for over a year.  4 lifts, one mechanic and a cat.

I saw the ranks of the construction industry swell from 1992 through 2007. Then suddenly nobody had any jobs because they were in survival mode.  I helped those I could until I was let go because my company went into survival mode of it’s own. 

Over the next 5-6 years more and more gave up on the industry and some paid horrific prices doing so. Losing everything and in a few cases even their lives. 

In reply to Dusterbd13 :

Thanks for giving a former criminal a chance. So many times, paid his debt to society doesn't ring true. 

Sounds like I need to quit a job I hate and look for one I don't.  

Fueled by Caffeine said:

Robbie said:

#1 sign of a strong economy

It’s been like this for about 10 years. Even during the recession hiring was super difficult.  You need x skill everyone has y.  I stopped hiring for specific experience a long time ago and now hire the smartest person with drive we walks through the door. Burnt our lawyer or person working at a bank?  I don’t care if you’re smart you’ll figure it out. 

Well said!  Wish others in HR were as smart as you! 

In reply to Ian F :

Same in architecture.  We've been shorthanded for at least 6 years.  Couldn't find anybody to hire at all.  Last year they finally hired a 30-something woman who was reentering the workforce after her kids went to kindergarten.  She had a decent portfolio of renderings and graphic work but no technical knowledge at all.  She was not stupid in any way but after 8 or 9 months she still just wasn't getting it.  Now we have a young guy straight out of school who also doesn't have any technical knowledge, but seems able to absorb it slowly.

SVreX said:

During the Great Recession, I was in a hiring position at a company that was growing rapidly, in spite of the recession. 

I would often see 400 resumes for one position. 

It didn’t take long to weed through them. It would usually take less than 30 minutes to go through 400 resumes and weed them down to 2 or 3 applicants.  They were horrible.  But it made for a few good laughs.

My favorites were the ones that could not spell the position they were applying for.

 

At the start of the Great Recession I applied only to jobs I was well qualified for.  As things got worse and my money ran out I applied for anything I could do.  After nearly 4 years a perfect job opened up. One I had an excellent track record in with documentation to justify my claims.  

Because it was a company I’d had a long history with I back doored it.  Going directly to the guy in charge of actually hiring.  I had friends in the company who told me the best time to see him and everything.

 Shined shoes, freshly pressed suit. I knocked on his door and introduced myself.  Couple of moments of polite chit chat, who do you know, and explained why he should hire me. 60 second elevator speech and handed him the documentation to justify my claims. 

 Almost a minute of complete silence and then he tossed my papers in his trash and told me.  I have HR people for that, good day!  

On my way out the HR person who suggested I back door it told me he was so badly overwhelmed with over 5000 applicants for the position that he was confused himself.  One day telling them this was most critical.   The next only accepting Ivy League college graduates.  Top management was on his back to get someone hired but the right person was critical. 

I've been in my current job for 20 years, and this division for ten. Since I've been here we've been shorthanded in the trades for almost the entire time. Now it's worse than it's ever been and they can't get any applicants for any of the openings.  At least management finally recognized the problem and stepped up wage increases for tradespeople

I'd really like someone with experience.  I've hired people before on attitude, being friendly and smarts.  It's worked out, however it takes them a *really* long time to learn the field.  It's far more than just answering phones, there's a distinct language to learn, how to deal with insurance, submitting claims, proper scheduling of procedures with time given, dealing with labs, handling people, etc, etc.

I'm not in a position where I'm involved in hiring, but I've been in the past. Same story in IT, in most cases you could discard at least 90% of applicants straight away because they were scatter gunning their resume everywhere.

One neat little trick I learned from a previous manager was to put instructions at the bottom of the ad to include a specific sentence in the reply to the job ad. That removed about 80-90% of resumes from consideration with a simple search, immediately. Yes, it may also have removed a bunch of qualified candidates but if you're not even bothering to read my lovingly crafted job ad all the way, you're not giving off the vibe I'm looking for.

I was responsible for hiring everyone from janitors, to truck drivers to CNC operators, programmers, etc. in my previous job.

90% of the applicants wouldn't meet the criteria spelled out in the want ad, 5% wouldn't show up for the interview, 4% were total boneheads, and of the 1% that I would make an offer to, half would accept and half of them might work out.

I really don't miss trying to hire people.

In reply to Duke :

Do you have any colleges near by with co-op programs?  While you do have to hold their hands a bit at the beginning - and you'll definitely end up with a few duds - it's nice when you can give them tasks and they just get them done.  We have one who is finished with her co-op and is now working for us part time while she finishes school. I am almost 100% certain she'll get an offer once she graduates.  As dept where the youngest of us are in our 40's, we definitely need to get and somehow keep some younger workers. 

This is one (of many) reasons I left my last job. I was responsible for hiring entry level  people for low pay. After that, they were my sole responsibility to train and babysit. 

It got impossible to find anyone and I took the heat and suffered the consequences of being short staffed. Good times that are not missed. 

I’ve also realized that I’m apparently a horrendous judge of character. Everyone I’ve ever hired was always a dud. 

In reply to Ian F :

Your last sentence is a real problem  for US manufacturing.