ok without going into specific details. i had some issues with a now former coworker crossing the line(taking a flying leap over it headfirst is more like it) now i come to find out he is telling people within the community things that are very untrue in an attempt to smear my character. absolutly shocked.
That's not shocking. That's your average berkeleytard.
you mean those things actually aren't true?
RX Reven' wrote: you mean those things actually aren't true?
That's not what i heard....
Wait, there's a line?
Face to face, in the largest group of people possible is how you deal with that.
Streetwiseguy wrote: Face to face, in the largest group of people possible is how you deal with that.
do you need us to loosen his lug nuts?
Are the things very out of line with what your reputation within that community has been? Was he fired or left on his own and if fired, would that be known to the people who he's badmouthing you?
probably not a bad idea to handle it like streetwiseguy said, if possible to do so in a way that isn't you going someplace you normally wouldn't otherwise to find him. I would do your best to not come across as angry. simple, direct, and as non-inflammatory confrontation will paint you in the best light if you're worried about your rep within that group.
there are giant holes in the story here, like without details, what sort of boundary he crossed and if the result of that is why he's now a "Former" coworker.
things like that always come back to bite you in the ass. he'll end up with a rep for being nasty and negative about the people he works with.
well ya he was fired. the line was sexual harrasment/assault. he is telling people that i came onto him. and that im just another "slut". yes this is all very contrare to how people normally view me. he is saying he left the job because of how uncomfortable i made him. sorry but that bulle36m3. the group that im most worried about is a youthgroup that im very involved with counseling kids in. and also within the lgbt community. both of which are very dear to me.
I mean, not quite anon here, but I think we'd be willing to help out the guy as an idiot.
Tell people you only came on to him until you saw how tiny his penis was, and then decided it wasn't worth it.
Carry a sharpee with you in case he starts to write your name on bathroom walls
Imaturity knows no bounds.
Maybe you should just ignore the guy. Unless your reputation is already tarnished, people will probably just think he's a moron.
After you get over the initial shock, remember two things.
People who know you will realize that this guy is some combination of deluded and jerk.
People who hear his story but don't know you (especially his potential future employers) will evaluate it, and him, exactly the way you would in their place: with their BS meters on full alert.
Third thing: although obviously I hope it doesn't, if this incident for some reason "goes in your file" or otherwise attaches itself to you in some official way, the sooner you get an equally official rebuttal on file, the better.
(And if you happen to know a good lawyer, a really nasty letter spelling out the consequences of defamation can be an excellent reality check even for deluded jerks.)
In his attempt to damage your character, he's only asserting how bad his reputation really is. The people he has said these things to, I'm assuming, already know what your character is. They can discern what's the truth.
Maybe have a discussion with the youthgroup about reputation and character. Work in something about how this shiny happy person spread lies about you, and they know that's not your character, and how damaging it can be, to your own reputation, to spread lies.
Unfortunately you are in a "he said, she said" situation. Sadly, calling a guy a "slut" is almost a compliment.
If he were to "disappear", we wouldn't tell a soul
who? I didn't see anybody
He only has as much power as you give him Katy. He belongs on your ignore list, you will live above his petty E36 M3.
^^^ best advice anybody can give.
no question that im doing the best i can to ignore him. fact is he is a young immature kid. but it still bothers the hell out of me. i worked very very hard to have people view me the way that they do. so its one of those f u moments basically.
Sorry to hear about your problem. I agree with ECM, ignore him. He'll go away and shut up with time. The people that matter already know you. If he is a young immature kid as you say it wont be long before he latches onto someone else and forgets about you.
Until then let us know where to find him and we'll break his legs.
In reply to KATYB:
to echo what some people said, people tend to discredit claims that come up after-the-fact.
Meaning: if he didn't claim anything about your actions until he wasn't working there any more, then people will judge him for that.
Most people and situations I've known have an expectation if you REALLY think something is wrong then you immediately report it. the longer you wait, the worse it makes you look.
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