You have to love service writers...

On an repair order today:

The customer reports the truck slow cranked for 2 hours then started

really?

Scott

Repair Order: Customer reports that the engine is missing.

Mechanic: Engine found

I have actually seen: customer reports faulty heater unit. takes upwards of 5 minutes to get after car is started.

As a long time service advisor, I've seen some write up doozies. I also have to report what the customer is asking even if it makes no sense.

Around here, A/C never cools off fast enough and after patiently explaining it takes time to lower the interior temperature from 130 degrees to 75 degrees, particularly when it's 95 degrees with 90% humidity, the customer looks at me like the RCA dog and says 'but there's GOT to be something wrong with it. Have the techs check it out.' Of course, the tech looks at ME like I have something green between my teeth and I get a new rectum cut.

SCARRMRCC wrote: I have actually seen: customer reports faulty heater unit. takes upwards of 5 minutes to get after car is started.

I had a guy concerned that his Ford Bronco (the big OJ style one) would accelerate down steep hills when on cruise. After the phone call with the customer, we gently told him that cruise control doesn't apply the brakes.

My favorite is the Mitsubishi Precis with "A/C inop, worked fine three months ago." Three months ago it was 50F every day. The car was a non A/C car.

"Check Brakes" or any other system on the car. Really?
Yup, they are present.

This just in:

Customer states steering is jurking.

My favorite RO- "Customer states vehicle will not crank". This happened at an Audi dealer back in 2008.

I go out with the jump box. I open the door and there are no lights or anything. I pop the hood to jump it. I find both heads and the intake are missing. I close the hood and go get the foreman so he can yell at the service advisor. While the advisor was technically correct, he violated the spirit of the statement

Curmudgeon wrote: As a long time service advisor, I've seen some write up doozies. I also have to report what the customer is asking even if it makes no sense.

Yup. when I was a service advisor, we were told that we did not diagnose the car, we ONLY report exactly what the customer complains about. Even if we KNEW that the complaint was silly or misguided or didn't make any sense.

Like the customer that complained that his rear suspension was broken because every time he put on the parking brake in his FWD Oldsmobile while in D, the back of the car would squat slightly. And it would raise up when in R.

Why yes, that's what they do.

Yup, the service advisor does NOT diagnose the car. Even though I have known dealer principals to insist otherwise.

Knurled wrote:

SCARRMRCC wrote: I have actually seen: customer reports faulty heater unit. takes upwards of 5 minutes to get after car is started.

I had a guy concerned that his Ford Bronco (the big OJ style one) would accelerate down steep hills when on cruise. After the phone call with the customer, we gently told him that cruise control doesn't apply the brakes. My favorite is the Mitsubishi Precis with "A/C inop, worked fine three months ago." Three months ago it was 50F every day. The car was a non A/C car.

Something similar happened to me with a Ford Festiva.

Years ago a customer came into the Lincoln dealership ,that employed me. He told the service advisor that the leaner was broken. Not having a clue as to what a leaner is the advisor asked the customer to show him exactly what the problem was with the leaner. They walk out to the Town Car and the hinge on the arm rest was broken, because he had been leaning on it with his considerable mass.

I had a customer of considerable bulk break a seat back frame.

You have not lived till a customer comes in complaining of an unusual noise and smell, you both pop the hood only to be greeted with the shredded remains of a squirrel or worse a family pet.

Curmudgeon wrote: I had a customer of considerable bulk break a seat back frame. You have not lived till a customer comes in complaining of an unusual noise and smell, you both pop the hood only to be greeted with the shredded remains of a squirrel or worse a family pet.

I'll take either of those to a snake whacked by the fan blade. Those really stink.

Hornets nests under hood are also fun surprises the Service Writer doesn't always warn you about. We did get a customer who brought their car in specifically for us to clear out the nests that had developed throughout the entire length of his Volvo.

Man, if I knew about a hornet's nest I wouldn't say anything either. Then, YouTube here I come!

Customer came in yesterday and said, "I need to get my car diagnostisized". I had to hold back from laughing.

Curmudgeon wrote: As a long time service advisor, I've seen some write up doozies. I also have to report what the customer is asking even if it makes no sense.

I have been told both. I have techs that will bitch about me diagnosing simple things in the drive. I will have the same tech bitching at me for NOT diagnosing that same simple thing in the drive and they had to "waste their time".

Reported as actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit

S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

Knurled wrote: My favorite is the Mitsubishi Precis with "A/C inop, worked fine three months ago." Three months ago it was 50F every day. The car was a non A/C car.

The way that Mitsubishi left the A/C switch label in place on non A/C Precises does at least make the customer's confusion a bit more understandable.

Curmudgeon wrote: Yup, the service advisor does NOT diagnose the car. Even though I have known dealer principals to insist otherwise.

then you're not a service advisor, you're a service writer. how can anyone be called an advisor if diagnostic is not part of their up-front responsibility?

AngryCorvair wrote:

Curmudgeon wrote: Yup, the service advisor does NOT diagnose the car. Even though I have known dealer principals to insist otherwise.

then you're not a service *advisor*, you're a service *writer*. how can anyone be called an *advisor* if diagnostic is not part of their up-front responsibility?

It works like this: there is not room at my desk for all the various test equipment and tools necessary to CORRECTLY diagnose a vehicle's problems. Technicians are here for that purpose.

Since we in this business are held to a higher standard than doctors, the service ADVISOR'S job is to gather the correct information for the technician (doctor) so he/she/it can have a good starting point. We are probably a bit more like the nurse who takes your background information before the doc sticks his finger up your butt.

Once that diagnosis is done, we ADVISE the customer what needs to be repaired. If it's a warranty situation, we check for coverage and ADVISE the tech if it's a covered condition. If it's a service contract, we ADVISE the service contract company of the vehicle's problems to check for coverage. We then ADVISE the customer of the service contract company's response (and that's where the ass chewings generally come in! ) and ADVISE the customer of the cost of the repairs (second largest source of ass chewings). We also ADVISE the customer of any needed maintenance and possible other repairs needed.

AngryCorvair wrote:

Curmudgeon wrote: Yup, the service advisor does NOT diagnose the car. Even though I have known dealer principals to insist otherwise.

then you're not a service *advisor*, you're a service *writer*. how can anyone be called an *advisor* if diagnostic is not part of their up-front responsibility?

They advise them on what is wrong with the vehicle. They advise which repairs the customer should do. Service writer and adviser are interchangeable. A technician diagnoses and evaluates the vehicle.

EDIT: Curmudgeon beat me to it!

noddaz wrote: This just in: Customer states steering is jurking.

I've seen "Customer states that during acceleration car is jankin back!"

Conquest351 wrote: I have been told both. I have techs that will bitch about me diagnosing simple things in the drive. I will have the same tech bitching at me for NOT diagnosing that same simple thing in the drive and they had to "waste their time".

Which is why techs are bitches. Also at 11, Water = wet!

bludroptop wrote: Reported as actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. snip...

Really great.

We can all agree service managers are the worst though, right?

I once wrote the customers complain verbatim "The brakes crunch like the bones of small children."

They were a weird couple, but not creepy, just eccentric. I joke that they were extras from the Big Bang Theory.