Dear blue Yammerhammer rider, thank you for a captivating drive home. At first I thought your antics were part of a reality TV show, but look around as I could, I just didn't find a camera crew recording you. After watching your for a while more, I came to realize you really were that bad a rider. If I might, let me give you a few suggestions and tips.
Don't let go of the handlebars and go digging in your back pack for a stick of gum. Instead, pay attention to where you're riding.
When you realize that back pack is now starting to fall off, pull over to straighten it and reposition the bungie cords. Don't turn around on a moving motorcycle to reposition it while riding. Bad enough in general, but in the left hand lane of a crowded interstate...
When you look up from the back pack and realize you've got people crowding you because you're now going about 30 mph turning around and getting back on the throttle was a good idea. But staring bug-eyed in the mirror with the throttle pegged wide open wasn't a good idea. That's why you didn't notice the car in front of you until you nearly rear ended it.
Lane splitting is the notion of riding the white stripe between cars, over taking them. You just wandered down the road, drifting back and forth across the white line. That's why people were to confused, they couldn't figure out what you were doing. That car that finally passed you on the left probably really though you'd finally picked a lane. How was he to know you were going to come drifting back nearly into his fender as he passed you in his lane?
Whatever was fascinating you about your right hand grip is the reason you hit that tire in the road. If you would have been looking where you were going, you would have seen it. Lucky for you it was just the tread carcass and not a full tire.
I'd suggest you not become fascinated with the latch on your left saddlebag. At least not while riding. Yes, it was remarkable seeing how you could actually bend around and look at that latch, and fiddle with it while riding. But, if you hadn't you would have seen the light turn red and the people stopping for it.
When it starts raining, the rule of thumb is to increase your following distance, not decrease it.
Honestly yammerhammer, I've never seen such bad riding, without a crash. I don't know if you made it home alive, or not. But I sincerely hope you decide to take some lessons on how to ride. Though I doubt you will.
