We found your next car: A twin-engine Geo Metro for just $70,000

J.G.
By J.G. Pasterjak
Jul 25, 2024 | Twin-Engined, Florida Man, Cars For Sale, Geo Metro, You Need This

Photography Courtesy Damani Scott

For just $70,000, this twin-engine Geo Metro can be yours.

Wait a minute,” you say. “You mean for no more than the cost of a lightly used Cayman S, I can have an aluminum-bodied Geo with not one but two 6G72 Mitsubishi engines?”

Yep, your dream has come true.

[Double Take: Volkswagen Motorsport’s Twin-Engined Golf]

But,” you ask, “what about urine stains? I’m very worried about urine stains.”

Please. The seller is way ahead of you. “Urine stains caught early can be wiped off with bleach,” the ad reassures, countering your primary objection before you’ve ever counted out that 70 large.

If not caught early, however, well, maybe you need to head to the toy store because this kind of machinery might not be for you. Besides, the seller assures that this is their third twin-engine build, and two of them have been successful–including this one.

Well, wait a minute,” you say, pausing your tally at a crumpled $20 that you possess but clearly didn’t earn if the blood stains are any indication. “I need a car that favors an ‘ass right in a lock situation,’ and one with ‘some’ braking.”

I’m your huckleberry, the seller affirms, encouraging you to finish your count and finalize the deal before their mom finds you both in the basement inking this agreement for what has been confirmed (by the ad) to be “one of the top three fastest Geo Metros on earth,” a claim that the Rigellian Metro Club will likely take umbrage with.

Now, $70,000 is not a lot for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity like this. The seller explains, “Light throttle in the Geo is a single-engine car’s part throttle. The Geo’s part throttle is a single-engine car’s half throttle. And so on.”

The math checks out. Why aren’t you already on your way to Lake Worth Beach, Florida?

Find this twin-engine 1995 Geo Metro for sale on Facebook Marketplace.

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Comments
Colin Wood
Colin Wood Associate Editor
7/25/24 10:25 a.m.

This picture has to be one of my all-time favorites to ever be included in a for-sale ad.

stuart in mn
stuart in mn MegaDork
7/25/24 10:38 a.m.

However, according to the ad the tarp is not included in the sale.

JG Pasterjak
JG Pasterjak Production/Art Director
7/25/24 10:43 a.m.
stuart in mn said:

However, according to the ad the tarp is not included in the sale.

That's just mentioned so there's a solid negotiating point. I bet a shrewd dealmaker could get that tarp thrown in.

Tom Suddard
Tom Suddard GRM+ Memberand Publisher
7/25/24 10:48 a.m.

JG, I sent this to you in confidence. Now I have to bid against everybody else on the forum!? Not cool man.

Paris Van Gorder
Paris Van Gorder Associate editor
7/25/24 10:51 a.m.

I think one of my favorite Pro/Cons on this add is "The aluminum sheet body is durable , but could use a buff and does stain if an animal urine's on it...I wipe it down to keep a sheen with baby oil" 

David S. Wallens
David S. Wallens Editorial Director
7/25/24 10:56 a.m.

In reply to JG Pasterjak :

Tell me more about this tarp, please. 

Tom Suddard
Tom Suddard GRM+ Memberand Publisher
7/25/24 10:58 a.m.

Is the front bumper a pickup truck bed extender?

wvumtnbkr
wvumtnbkr GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
7/25/24 10:58 a.m.

Shouldn't this be more like $700?

Dang 70k is crazy for this pile of E36 M3 parts flying in close proximity.

Mndsm
Mndsm MegaDork
7/25/24 10:59 a.m.

did my guy just use a spare kirkey as an air scoop? 

Sarah Young
Sarah Young Copy & Design Editor
7/25/24 11:05 a.m.

If anyone can explain what an "ass right in a lock situation" is, I'd appreciate it.

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